They’re NOT Just Like Us

Published July 29, 2016 by Malia

Okay, guys, bear with me. I’m about to break my rule about not talking about politics. And for the record, let me just say, I have not yet decided who I’m voting for, and even when I do decide, it’s my personal decision, and it’s my choice not to share it with the entire world.

I’m not a fan of politics. I hate that politics bring out the absolute worst in people, and just seem to stir up so much hate and anger. However, there’s something about politics that just really, REALLY annoys me…

Celebrity Supporters

What’s a celebrity supporter, you ask? It’s anyone famous, or kinda famous who steps up and says, “I’m voting for so and so, and you should too because I’m just like you. I’m a hard working, red-blooded American who only wants what’s best for this country; and this candidate shares all of our core values and beliefs.”

What’s absolutely amazing to me is that people would rather listen to a celebrity tell them how to vote, instead of actually sitting down and educating themselves about the candidate in question.

The thing is, no matter what the magazines may tell us, celebrities are NOT just like us. It doesn’t matter how many times they’re photographed wearing yoga pants or getting Starbucks or walking their dogs. The truth of the matter is, they live in a very different world than most of the rest of us.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a few examples:

-This year’s Oscar nominee’s received a gift bag valued at $232,000 (Harper’s Bazaar). Sure, it wasn’t sanctioned by the Academy, but that didn’t stop the nominees from receiving it. Maybe it’s just me, but that number seems mind boggling for a “goodie bag.” To put that in perspective, with that much money, I could pay off our mortgage, car, my student loans, and have a bit left over to give my parents to help pay down their mortgage. To even make that much money, I would have had to work nearly twelve years at my last job to make that much money.

-Think about the last time you got a hair cut. How many hundreds of dollars was it? Yup, while you may pay between $15-$35 for a haircut, there are celebrities paying $350 and up for a cut that every stylist in America hopes they can recreate when an obsessed fan comes in wanting to look just like their favorite star. (Forbes)

-What did you spend on your wedding? Probably at least a couple thousand, right? Even the most expensive weddings I know of, among my peer group, didn’t top $60,000 (and yes, even that number seems super high to me). However, when celebrities get married, it’s not unusual for that price to jump into the millions. (USA Today)

Are celebrities bad people because they have this kind of money? No, not at all. Having lots of money has little to do with what kind of person you are. It’s how you choose to spend that money that reveals what your true nature is.

The point I’m trying to make is that these people don’t live a life that’s anything like that of the “average” American. Now, I can appreciate that celebrities have quite a bit of power. They can send out a tweet saying that the best tacos in the world are at a pretty unknown bar in Dallas, and not only will their millions of followers let all of their followers know, but the previously unknown bar will suddenly be famous. And even if their tacos suck, most will never admit it because their favorite celebrity made the claim of best, and they just know that the celebrity couldn’t possibly be wrong. With that kind of power, what politician wouldn’t want a celebrity in their corner, tweeting to the masses that their candidate is the one with true vision for the future?

So, here’s the deal, as we head into the next few months of this insane political circus, famous people are just people. Meryl Streep is a very talented actress. Willie Robertson is a successful businessman with an entertaining “reality” show. Patton Oswalt is a entertaining comedian (and perfect narrator for The Goldbergs). Wil Wheaton was in Star Trek: Next Generation and has been a pretty positive supporter of nerds and geeks. Mike Tyson is a former boxer. Mark Ruffalo makes an awesome Hulk. Chuck Norris has a very specific set of skills, and it’s been said his tears cure cancer (but, sadly, he never cries). Okay, the list could go on and on, but I’ll spare all of you.

Celebrities are people. Most of them are rich people. They’re people with their own opinions. Guess what…you’re a person with your own mind. It’s okay to listen to the celebrities, but don’t make your decisions based on what they tell you. Research for yourself what is actually true, and in November go to the polls and vote. Vote for what you believe is right. Not what someone, using 160 characters, told you to believe.

Stormy Weather

Published July 7, 2016 by Malia

The clock just chimed four, and I’ve been wide awake since 2:30. I counted 10 Mississippis between the most recent brilliant flash of lightening & the roll of thunder that followed.

The boy is sleeping deeply beside me. He’s completely exhausted. In a few short hours he’ll be awake and gone; a 14-16 hour work day ahead of him. These are the times I’m glad I don’t currently have a job, because if I did, I wouldn’t see him at all.

I’m so tired and anxious. I hate the Metformin. I get that it’s supposed to help my health, but it also amplifies all my negative emotions and thoughts. It makes everything feel so scary and overwhelming. I hate it.

More lightening. 7 Mississippis that time. Storm’s getting closer.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Published February 5, 2016 by Malia

The other day I read that, years ago, David Bowie auditioned for the role of Elrond. Personally, I think he would’ve been great in the role, but I actually think he would’ve made an awesome Thranduil. Nothing against Lee Pace, but I just think Bowie would’ve been a better choice for the role.

I’ve tried writing this post everyday for over a week, and every time I’ve started something’s stopped me. The words just haven’t jelled. Even now, as I’m finally writing this, the sentences feel awkward and wooden.

I quit my job.

Even a week and a half later, I’m still kind of in shock. I knew that I needed out months ago, but it hadn’t been an option. I just never thought I’d actually be able to make myself quit.

Now that I’m out, I’m making an attempt at being a stay at home wife. Which is weird…and awesome. I really haven’t gotten the hang of it yet. It’s definitely a slower pace to live by, but I’m really not complaining.

So, here’s to new life adventures!

Toe Story

Published January 10, 2016 by Malia

Gather ’round, dear children, and listen to the wondrous story of how 2015 went out with a whimper (and by whimper, I mean several colorful metaphor filled screams). Join me, now in the Wayback Machine, as we travel to the long ago day of 12/30/2015…

(I know it’s a crazy long time ago, but just bear with me…)

December 30th was not a fantastic day. We were short staffed, and I found myself attempting to be 2.5 people. Since Kamino has all of my clones on backorder, being 2.5 people proved to be a little impossible. However, I was determined to prove that I could do it all, and be absolutely awesome in the process.

I couldn’t.

Not quite three hours into my shift, I found myself needing to be in two separate rooms at the same time. I thought that if I just walked a little faster than normal, I could take care of the problem in room B, and get back to room A without an absurd amount of time passing. As I power-walked around a corner, I lost my footing. I went down, hard, and as I went down, I felt my shoe go flying off my foot. Before it completely came off, the edge of it caught around one of my toes and twisted. I felt something pop, but I didn’t have time to stop and deal. Grabbing my shoe, I stood up, tried to take a step, and promptly decided that walking is completely overrated. Hobbling the twenty feet back to room A, I became worried that I had broken my toe.

Because it was a workplace accident, after I completed a pile (translation: two pages) of paperwork I found myself at the doctor’s office. The doctor’s office my work sends people to is a facility that deals with workplace accidents and pre-employment drug screens. I sat in the waiting room, surrounded by a lot of people who really needed to pee.

After the doctor took a look at my toe, he sent in a nurse to take me to get x-rays. I was in a shockingly severe amount of pain, and at a point that I really couldn’t put any weight on my foot without wanting to scream. I asked the nurse if it would be okay if I hopped on one foot to the x-ray suite. Fortunately, the x-ray suite was only two doors down. Unfortunately, it was all in full view of the entire waiting room. I’m sincerely hoping that the sight of me hoping on one foot brightened the day of those 30-ish people.

The good news? I didn’t break my toe. The bad news? I sprained it, and nearly two weeks later it still hurts quite a bit. (Also, as someone who tries to avoid going to the doctor, this is by far the most ridiculous reason I have ever found myself at the doctor.) I had no idea a sprain could hurt this bad. Probably doesn’t help that I’m super clumsy and have managed to bash my injured toe into something almost every single day. The boy has pretty much stopped asking, “What did you do now?” and now-when he hears me scream-just says, “Awe, babe…” while shaking his head.

And that concludes the story of how my toe is teaching me to slow down and just try to be me (not me and 1.5 other versions of me).

Year of the Blog

Published January 1, 2016 by Malia

2016 is here! My goal this year is to avoid Facebook as much as possible.. Instead of wasting time there, I’m going to be trying to blog as much as I possibly can.
To help ease ya’ll into the new year, here’s some pictures of my adorable kitty boy…

Thoughts I’m Currently Having: Part Two

Published December 18, 2015 by Malia

-Mariah Carrey’s All I Want For Christmas is insanely catchy, and is one of my very favorite songs.

-Ibuprofen was found…waiting for it to kick in.

-Giving up on numbering my thoughts…too tired to care.

-Why are my feet so cold?? Seriously, they’re never cold and I’ve got them under a blanket.

-Pain is now a 5 and nausea has kicked in. We’re having fun now…

-At least the cat is cuddling with me.

-Dude! My phone radio app has a Broadway station! They’re playing the overture from Mame.. I used to have that whole soundtrack memorized.

-Man, I used to be so impressed with my musical talent. I was genuinely convinced I really was something. I was something, alright. It’s amazing anyone was willing to be my friend back then.

-I miss singing. I miss band. A lot.

-Now, I’ve made myself sad.

-Thanks, abdominal pain, for the painful reminder you’re still there. I really don’t know what I’d do without your constant reminders…oh wait, yes, I do…I’d be functioning like a normal human being.

-I’m just gonna cuddle this pillow for awhile…

Thoughts I’m Having Currently…Part 1

Published December 18, 2015 by Malia

1. If I sit almost completeky still, and only move my fingers, my pain level is only about a four.

2. Waiting for the doctor’s office to call with lab results is a sucky nightmare.

3.

He’s fast asleep, pinning my legs, which helps a lot with that whole sitting still thing.

4. Star Wars tomorrow. if you don’t like Star Wars, I feel sad for you, but won’t stop liking you. (but I may start practicing Jedi skills in your direction…”You want to watch Star Wars…You will like Star Wars…“)

5. Typing a post out on my phone isn’t terribly easy, especially since I turned off auto-capitalisation.

6. Eek…just barely shifted my leg and the demons in my abdomen are trying to decide if they’re going to upgrade the level 4 to a level 5.

7. LOOK AT THE PRECIOUS ANGEL BABY!

8. Wonder if I can use my Jedi powers to fetch the ibuprofen…

9. nope…

10. Crap, this means I have to get up…

11. I shall return…

Don’t invite Charles Dickens to your seance.

Published September 29, 2015 by Malia

I am thoroughly convinced that my office is haunted. Up until last week, though, I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone because I didn’t want people to think I was any crazier than I actually am.

The way my office is situated, I sit right next to the door, but when I’m on the phone, my back is mostly turned towards the door. Now, it’s not unusual for people to walk in to drop off results, or other things that need my attention, and if I’m on the phone they’ll usually leave the item on the file cabinet behind me. Since it’s such a small office, whenever anyone walks in, I can feel the movement of air as they pass behind me. On a regular basis, I’ll find myself taking a phone call and will feel someone walk in and stand behind me. However, when I hang up the phone, no one is standing there.

Like I said in the beginning, I’ve not been mentioning this oddness, but now I know I’m not the only one experiencing weirdness.

Last week, I came back from my lunch break, and my coworker (we share an office) asked me if the blinds had been closed when she arrived. I told her they were, that I had closed them mid-morning because the sun was beating in and I wanted to try to keep it semi-cool. She then told me that when she was on the phone, she could have sworn that someone opened the blinds, but when she looked at them they were closed. We then sat and discussed the fact that this room seems haunted.
I know there’s a reasonable explanation for most everything. Me thinking that someone is walking behind me is likely the by-product of a change in the air pressure. My co-worker thinking the blinds were opened was probably the sun hitting them just right. However, I know that there are some things in this world that are just unexplainable.

When I shared with the boy that I’m relatively certain my office is haunted, I was met with a decent amount of skepticism.

To be fair, I understand his skepticism. He’s been fully exposed to my super overactive imagination. A few weeks ago, I spent the entire evening watching Mysteries at the Museum and Mysteries at the Monuments, and when it was time to feed the cat and go to bed I freaked out. I made the boy walk me to the basement and stand there while I fed the cat, and when we went to bed, I wouldn’t let him turn out the lights until I was securely in bed…safe from Charles Dickens’ ghost and aliens. Mostly from the aliens. I’m not too concerned about Dickens, unless he decides Great Expectations needs another ending.

I remember him wearily asking me, “Now, you’re scared of history?”

In my head my reply went something like, “Of course I am. If we don’t fear the terrible things from the past, how will we learn and not allow such horrors to take place in the future?” What I actually said went more, “Protect me from the aliens!”

At that point he rolled his eyes, sighed (I’m sure he was envisioning the future filled with him having to protect me from every ridiculous thing I see on t.v. that’s even slightly scary), and went to sleep. Leaving me to fight the aliens off with my pillow.

And that is why I understand his reluctance to believe my office is haunted…but it totally is.

The Playlist

Published September 26, 2015 by Malia

One thing about our wedding that makes me super happy, is the fact that multiple people have told us how much fun they thought it was. I know I may be biased, but I think they’re right. Probably one of my favorite things from our wedding is the playlist.

Back when we first started dating, one thing we would do is put YouTube on the Chromecast, and we’d both keep adding videos to the stream. It made for many hours of inexpensive entertainment. Since we weren’t having a dance at the wedding, the boy had the idea of putting together a giant YouTube playlist that would run in the background throughout the reception. It’s filled with nerd music, parodies, and some pretty random weirdness. It’s also a pretty good look at what entertains the two of us. So, whether you were at the wedding and confused by the quiet YouTube videos, or just wanting to watch an eccentric stream of videos, I’m going to share the playlist with all of you!

My weekend to-do list with semi-related pictures I found on Pinterest

Published September 25, 2015 by Malia

1. Make house look like two sane people inhabit it, instead of one sane person and one deranged squirrel person.

Accurate depiction of me avoiding responsibility.

2. Work on wedding Thank You notes. Why is this such a difficult task for me to complete?

3. Find the bathroom decorations that are still packed. I’m tired of our bathrooms looking like they belong in a college dorm.

4. Go to the gym. I hate that when I miss a few weeks at the gym, I actually can tell. I miss being young and unaware of the need to exercise. Now, it makes me feel all the pain, and I tend towards being super cranky.

5. Make bread. We’re completely out, and I want toast.

6. Figure out someway to make the spiders go bye-bye. I want to be able to go sit on my swing without living in fear of having something 8-legged climb on me.

7. Watch Doctor Who. Strange, that I have to actually write this down, but I didn’t have a to-do list written up on Monday and I completely missed the premiere of Big Bang Theory.

8. Find a plant for my office. My boss said it’s fine to put one in the window, I just need to buy one.

9. Actually complete tasks I have on this list.

Any Second Now...

This will all make sense?

Life

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