Archives

All posts for the month May, 2014

It Might Be Time To Call Sam & Dean

Published May 27, 2014 by Malia

Have you ever been showering and then suddenly noticed a giant spider hanging out on the ceiling?  And then the spider proved it could move super fast, and even after you finished your shower, it held you hostage in the shower for much longer than you’re proud of?  And while you were waiting to escape from the shower, you tried to decide if this was a re-enactment of that scene from Arachnophobia or if it would fit better in a Supernatural episode?  And have you found yourself disappointed that your phone was in another room, because you couldn’t even text the boy about how you were stuck in a ridiculous nightmare of one of your three worst irrational fears?

In case you’re wondering, I can honestly answer yes to all the above questions.  I did manage to finally escape the shower, but the spider is still at large.  Which is funny, considering how large the spider was.  And am I embarrassed by all of this?  Yes, I absolutely am.  A freakin’ spider held me hostage in a bathtub!

I think I need a hug.

A Random List of Things I’m Currently Thinking About At 2:30 a.m.

Published May 23, 2014 by Malia

-I really want to see Devil’s Tower.  I know it’s nearly 700 miles away, but I think it would be awesome to just leave after work some Friday night and drive to Wyoming, see Devil’s Tower, and drive back home.  I know it’s crazy, and probably a waste of gas, but it’d be super awesome.

-I’m on a personal mission whenever I watch something on Hulu.  No matter what the ad that is playing, I always mark “No” for the question, “Is this ad relevant to you?”.  So far, it’s not making any difference, but I seriously hope that it’s messing with some Hulu algorithm thing.

-Whenever I house sit, my brain comes up with ridiculous scenarios of things that could happen.  The most common/recurring is that aliens are going to show up.  No abduction or anything.  Just that aliens will suddenly appear.

-Whenever I go on Pinterest, and if I stray onto the DIY & Crafts section I suddenly am filled with the belief that I am crafty.  I’m not.

-Speaking of crafts, I feel the urge to do origami.  Probably a good thing that I’m nowhere near paper right now.

-I kind of want one of those graphic tablets that you use with a computer.  Yeah, apparently I’m on a crafting kick tonight.

-You know what is fantastic about being out of the city and out in the country?  The stars.  There are so many beautiful stars just overwhelming the sky and I adore it.

-You know what’s eerie about being out of the city and out in the country?  The quiet.  It is so amazingly quiet, and when you’re used to the sound of traffic and sirens and trains and such, the quiet can be a little unnerving.

-Who’s got two thumbs and a three day weekend coming up?  This girl!

-I really want to learn archery.  And not just because of The Hunger Games.  It’s a graceful sport.  Plus, I have this weird noise sensitivity issue, so I’m thinking that learning to shoot would be a miserable experience.

-Sometimes I feel like I’m the neediest, clingiest person ever.  It drives me crazy.  It’s not intentional, it just happens.  Which, somehow makes it worse.

-There’s this thing that’s been floating around Facebook lately where people put down what their favorite Bible verse is.  I have many favorite verses, but lately I’ve been loving Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Recovering Drama Queen

Published May 22, 2014 by Malia

Sometimes I think I should have entitled this blog, “Confessions of a Drama Queen in Remission.”  It’s true.  I don’t like acknowledging it, but I’m a drama queen in recovery.  Seriously, there should be a support group.

Me: Hi, my name is Malia, and I’m a drama queen.  It’s been three days since my last episode.

Readers: Hi, Malia.

Yeah, I try not to let that side of me out very often, but it happens.  And, unfortunately, it’s like a snowball, once it gets rolling, everything in my sphere of reality gets super dramatic.  I end up freaking out about everything.

To my horror and embarrassment, the drama queen side of me resurfaced over the last weekend.  It was awful.  I didn’t even realize I was being a drama queen until Tuesday.  I’m absolutely terrified of spiders, and last fall a coworker put a fake one on my computer keyboard not realizing this.  I screamed, and as soon as I realized what it was fake I felt humiliated.  That was six months ago.  Tuesday, it happened again, but this time the fake spider was hidden under my keyboard.  Again, I screamed, and then I ran to the bathroom because I was so angry and humiliated (and I honestly thought I was going to start crying, and didn’t want my co-workers to see that).  I know being scared of spiders is a stupid, irrational fear.  Doesn’t stop me from being scared of them.

Now, there were plenty of other things that happened that led up to the realization that I was being a drama queen.  The fake spider was just the breaking point.  The point where I realized how much of an idiot I was being.  So, now I’m trying to mentally prepare myself to be calm, no matter what (much easier said than done).

Throughout my week of being a drama queen, the boy kindly put up with me.  He never once made me feel worse about it, and he was overall just pretty wonderful.  And now having not seen him since Sunday I miss him a lot.  Being a girl totally sucks sometimes.  It’s not that I’m clingy, I just genuinely miss him.  Thank heavens this isn’t a long distance relationship.

Weighty Wednesday: Week 2~Marathon Queen

Published May 21, 2014 by Malia

I’m the queen of the marathon…the movie marathon that is.  As they say on How I Met Your Mother, if you don’t marathon Star Wars at least every three years, the Empire wins.  Personally, I think if you don’t marathon Lord of the Rings (the extended editions) at least once a year, then  Ring might as well have survived Mount Doom and be back on Sauron’s finger.  (I agree with the boy, there should be a statute of limitations on spoilers.  The books have been out over 50 years, and the movies have been out over a decade.  I refuse to put up a spoiler alert).

Here’s the thing, much as I’m into the couch potato marathon, everyone else in my age group seems to be into the marathon that requires actual running.  I’ll be honest, I don’t get it.  Everyone I know seems to constantly be going on an on about exercising and preparing for races and actually running races.  What’s really weird?  They actually seem to enjoy it.  It seems to make them feel good.  Now, I do get up and exercise five days a week.  I do it because it’s good for my health, and I’ve found that when I don’t exercise, joints start to hurt (I know that’s an old person thing to say, but it’ true).  However, I don’t enjoy exercising.  I don’t get any kind of high from the experience.  It’s just one of those things that must be done and so I do it.

So, I head into my second week.   I’ve worked on really keeping an eye on what I’ve eaten (helped that I had to have more dental work in the middle of the week.  Nothing like pain to make you eat less), and I’ve been exercising faithfully.  And…I’ve gained weight.  On the bright side, my t-shirts feel like they’re fitting a tiny bit looser (not my imagination, they totally are), so I’m going to rule this as a week where the scale doesn’t matter.  (Otherwise, I’ll start feeling super depressed and give up, which would be stupid, since I’ve only been at this a week).

Weight to Lose: 111.5 lbs.

Weight to Mini Goal: 12.5 lbs.

Let’s All Sing The Doom Song!

Published May 17, 2014 by Malia

So, last Sunday was Mother’s Day.  As I get older, I find the day is a cornucopia of mixed emotions for me.  On the one hand, I’ve been very blessed to have some incredible ladies in my life.  Mom, aunts, grandmas, friends.  These ladies deserve to be honored and celebrated.

On the other hand, I want to be a mom, and the older I get, the more I understand the sadness childless women feel on Mother’s Day.    Until I was twenty-two, I firmly did not want kids.  Absolutely not.  Kids terrified me, and I didn’t think I’d stand a chance of being a good mom.  However, something started changing in my heart, and the next four years I found myself in the mode of, “I do want kids, maybe not this instant, but I’m thinking I’d like to be a mom.”  Then, my brain moved to the point of, “We live in a psycho world, it’s an absolutely insane idea to want to bring children into this world, but I don’t care.  I want to be a mama.”  It’s true.  I don’t have the vaguest idea of how to be a mom, but women have been moms since the beginning of time; so there’s a good chance I wouldn’t be the worst mother ever.  And yes, I know you don’t have to actually go through pregnancy and labor to have kids and be a mom, but I find myself praying that one of these days I’ll get to go through that experience as well.

And, while I usually pep talk myself that should a miracle happen and God gives me a little rugrat, there are some days, like today, where I worry I’ll emotionally scar the future rugrat for life.

I’m an internalizer.  When something upsets me, I lock it inside, and let it fester.  It’s a totally “healthy” way to deal with things.  Unfortunately, when things fester, they tend to eventually explode.  Like I did.  Tonight.  The situation isn’t really that important.  Yes, something needed to be done.  Yes, I was just as good a candidate to deal with it as anyone.  However, I handled it wrong.  I fully accept the responsibility for handling it wrong.  I’m still not sure how I should have handled it, but I definitely should not have done so in anger.

Later, after I started to calm down, I got really sad.  Here I am, wanting to be a mom, and when a mothering situation came along I totally screwed up.  I found myself berating myself for asking God to let me have a go at being a mom when I struggle so much to handle even basic confrontation situations.  (As you can tell, I’m clearly emotionally mature.)  In the midst of this inner fight/pity party, I suddenly had the first verse of What a Friend We Have In Jesus pop into my head.

“What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.”

Joseph M. Scriven

I’m not trying to get all preachy here.  In fact, I’m not one hundred percent sure why I feel compelled to share this sad little tale of my lack of emotional maturity.  I do know, though, that the more I thought about those words, the calmer I got.  It also occurred to me that I talk a good line about loving Jesus and believing in God, but I rarely take anything to Him because I don’t want to bother Him with my measly little problems.  After the disaster of today, though, it occurs to me that I really do need His help.  As long as I try to handle things without help, doom is inevitable.

Weighty Wednesday: Week 1

Published May 14, 2014 by Malia

Before I get into this post, I have to correct something from my last post.  I misremembered (and, yes, I’m totally going to pretend that’s a word) the conversation I had with the boy about Jar Jar.  He’s the one who suggested that they mature slower.  The boy pointed this out to me, and since he has the better memory,  I’m going to go with his version instead of mine.  However, all the supposition and thought put into the theory mainly came from me.

Okay, now I feel better.  No longer unintentionally claiming thoughts that aren’t mine.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole weight loss thing.  There seem to be two schools of thought when it comes to losing the weight (at least among us bigger girls).  The first school of thought is that, “This is the size God made me, and ya’ll can just deal with it.”  The second is, “Love me the way I am, but support me as I work to get smaller.”  I definitely fall into the second group.  I know that those who love me the way I am now are people who genuinely love me.  However, I have a lot of respect for girls who are in the first group.  I know it’s not easy being on the bigger end of the scale, and it takes a lot of self-confidence to be able to stand proud and say, “This is who I am, and I’m not changing!”

So, I gave myself a week.  Kind of a last hurrah.  Ate junk food, didn’t really exercise, and started to try to do some mental prep for what I know is going to be a decently long journey.  In following weeks I’ll make sure my camera is actually charged and my hair isn’t gross, so that I can track my progress via picture.  For today, though, both of those things are working against me.  So, I’ll just list what my starting goals are, and next week, I’ll share my first week’s progress.

Weight to lose: 110.5 lbs.

Weight to lose until I reach first mini goal:  11.5 lbs.

And now I’m going to go wash my hair, because it really is gross.

 

Solving Jar Jar

Published May 10, 2014 by Malia

The other night I was with the boy, and we were watching The New Yoda Chronicles: Escape from the Jedi Temple.  For those that are unaware of it, basically it’s Lego Star Wars.  So, lots of humor and everything is Lego.  Which, some might argue makes it better than actually watching Star Wars, but I digress…

Anyway, in the episode there’s a scene with everyone’s “favorite” character, Jar Jar…and Jar Jar’s three children.  That’s right, Jar Jar apparently met some female Gungan and procreated with her.  I pointed out that maybe if Jar Jar’s significant other was as annoying as he was, they might cancel each other out, and their kids would be perfectly normal.  The boy disagreed since the kids were probably at least 30, and they acted like they were five.  Then, I came up with a solution.  Maybe, Gungan’s age differently than humans.  Maybe Jar Jar didn’t become a mature Gungan until several years after Revenge of the Sith.    Now, before you discount this theory, let’s look at the evidence (and keep in mind, this is all supposition.  I don’t know if there’s actually evidence out there to destroy my theory).

In The Phantom Menace, we first encounter Jar Jar.  He’s annoying, clumsy, and generally irritating.  He’s got more in common with the twelve-year-old Anakin than he does with any of the adults.  Plus, it’s never established that he actually is an adult.  The other Gungans dislike him, and when he’s brought before the leader, no one jumps to his defense.  This could easily be explained if he’s an orphan.  For all we know, Jar Jar was a preteen orphan Gungan, and the Gungans saw that shipping him off with the Jedi’s was an easy way to rid themselves of someone they didn’t want to care for.

When you think of it like that, then everything that happens becomes loads sadder.  Basically, no one checked his age, accepted that he was an adult because he was tall and could talk.  They let him be an ambassador and put the fate of the galaxy in his hands.  Seriously?  What kind of moron lets a kid make those kinds of decisions?  On the other hand, he did come from a planet that boasted a queen who was 14 when she was elected.  But still, there were plenty in the senate not from Naboo, and they should have questioned the wisdom of giving Jar Jar so much responsibility.

That’s it, I move for a vote of “No Confidence” in the representatives from Naboo.