sleep

All posts tagged sleep

Mother Forking Shirtballs, I just want to go to sleep.

Published January 28, 2019 by Malia

I’m trying so hard to get to sleep, and it’s just not happening. I went to bed at 9:30, and as I write this it’s now 12:20 a.m. I’m crazy exhausted, and yet annoyingly awake. Too tired to stay sitting upright, so I’m in bed.

Here’s what it’s like in my all over the place ADHD head right now (thoughts are in order of appearance, not order of logic. I don’t know how I skip so wildly from one thing to the other, I just do):

-I should totally make a Fairy Tail guild mark blanket. It wouldn’t be that hard.

-I’ve already got two blankets in progress. I should probably finish one before starting another.

-Yeah, probably, but I really want to make it.

-Just finish something, I’m begging you…wait what is that?

-Why is the song from Back to the Future playing? I thought Tom was watching Flash.

-Oh, it is Flash, must be something time travelly happening.

-I just want to sleep.

-Man, I have not watched Back to the Future in forever. I should watch it this week. Also, I really need to catch up on Flash.

-So, how much yarn would my Fairy Tail blanket take? It’s gotta be less than the temperature blanket.

-Gracie Groot, was that you? Oh yeah, totally you. Why are you farting so much?

-Okay, the TV is driving me to distraction. So much input just being flung at my ears. I need to invest in some new earplugs.

-I have so much stuff to make. What do people even want to buy?

-People will want to buy, right?

-I feel like there’s angst happening on Flash. Music is all angsty and characters sounded equally angsty.

-I can’t believe Tom got ahead of me in Pokemon Go. I’m going to need to play so much more so I can hit level 40 before he does. Seriously, how did he get ahead of me?

-I need more yarn.

-And I’m still awake.

-5:30 is going to get here way too quick.

-I want pie.

And now, a random update post that really goes nowhere. Fun times.

Published February 28, 2018 by Malia

“Eagles may soar, but weasles don’t get sucked into jet engines.” Hands down, my all time favorite joke.

I completely lost the month of February. The flu was brutal; and then when I thought it was finally all over, I came down with post-infection bronchitis. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I just stayed in bed, and slept through things on Netflix and Hulu.

I’m a week out now from the bronchitis diagnosis. I’m still not at 100%, but I’m starting to feel like maybe, just maybe, the worst is over.

March begins in a few hours, and I’m tentatively looking forward to it. There are changes headed towards me. I hope the changes are going to improve the boy and I’s life. Guess we won’t know until we’re actually into it. But at least I should have plenty to write about.

And now, I’m going to try to sleep, because tomorrow is my early shift, and I’ve found I’m more successful at my job when I’m not completely sleep deprived.

Stormy Weather

Published July 7, 2016 by Malia

The clock just chimed four, and I’ve been wide awake since 2:30.  I counted 10 Mississippis between the most recent brilliant flash of lightening & the roll of thunder that followed.

 The boy is sleeping deeply beside me.  He’s completely exhausted.  In a few short hours he’ll be awake and gone; a 14-16 hour work day ahead of him.  These are the times I’m glad I don’t currently have a job, because if I did, I wouldn’t see him at all.  

I’m so tired and anxious.  I hate the Metformin.  I get that it’s supposed to help my health, but it also amplifies all my negative emotions and thoughts.  It makes everything feel so scary and overwhelming.  I hate it.  

More lightening.  7 Mississippis that time.  Storm’s getting closer.  

My cat is extremely jealous of Grumpy Cat, which has absolutely nothing to do with the content of this post.

Published November 21, 2014 by Malia

According to the countdown app on my phone, I’m only 3 days away from turning 30…and I’m only 113 days away from my wedding. 

No, that’s not a typo. 

The boy and I are gettin’ hitched!

Feel free to take a moment and join me in the “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!” Squeal-A-Thon that I’ve been having for the last two weeks. 

That’s a large part of why I’ve not  written much lately.  It wasn’t really public knowledge until last Sunday.  Now, though, pretty much everyone I know knows, so I figured I was fine saying something here.

The other reason I haven’t written much is because I’ve not wanted to sound like a broken record.  My life is pretty routine.  I work hard at my awesome/crazy stressful job.  Sleep.  Go to the boy’s house to hang out every few days, and usually use that time to catch up on all the shows that air while I’m at work (Flash and Scorpion are excellent, by the way).  The super cool thing about being engaged (y’know, apart from getting to marry the love of my life and start a whole new life adventure) is that I actually have new things to write about. 
So stay tuned as I start a new decade of life.  Wow, that sounds cheesy.  And now I want pizza.   Which isn’t a good thing if I really want to be able to wear the gorgeous dress in 113 days.

113 days.  I’m getting married in 113 days.  I cannot hardly wait, I’m so excited!!!!!!

A Bad Day To Be Brain Dead

Published March 19, 2014 by Malia

Today, I was really tired.  I’ve been on this kick where I’ve been waking up earlier and earlier without the aid of an alarm clock.  It’s by far, one of the strangest things that’s ever happened to me.  Anyway, last night, I didn’t get to bed until the very wee hours of the morning, and I ended up waking up about four hours after I hit the hay.  Which wasn’t exactly the plan.  It also didn’t help that I had a full day of work ahead of me, and a 401K meeting.

This is the first time in my life that I’ve not only been eligible for a 401K, but also making enough that I can both pay my bills and invest some money.  I’m pretty excited about this.  However, the hour and a half meeting I attended was mentally painful.  And kind of confusing.  And generally a bad thing to be attending when only about half awake.

The longer the meeting went on, the more muddled my brain got.  Basically, I know I got handed a pile of paperwork, and that it should make a lot more sense than it does.  Also, I learned that at my age I’m apparently supposed to be aggressive in my investing, or else I’ll get old and be poor.  Honestly, it was all I could do to follow which page we were on in which set of papers out of the pile.

Thankfully, I’ve got until Monday to figure out how I’m going to plan for the future.  Hopefully, I’ll get some sleep between now and then.

It Does Exist!

Published March 6, 2014 by Malia

Boys and girls, let me tell you a magical story.

Once upon a time…there was a girl who loved to sleep until at least ten every morning.  It was pleasant, and since she didn’t have to be anywhere until 1:30 in the afternoon, it worked well for her.  Then one day, she began to wake up earlier than ten.  Way earlier.  Like, 3-4 hours earlier.  And she was okay with it.

The End

Did you guys know that 6 and 7 a.m. are real times?  I used to.  Back in the days of school and such.  They weren’t times that I enjoyed acknowledging the existence of, but I put up with their existence.  Since I started working at the lab a little over a year ago, I’ve been on a schedule where I stay up quite late, and don’t get up until sometime in the ten a.m. hour.

Something weird has been happening, though.  For the last week and a half, I’ve been waking up consistently between 6 & 7 a.m., every single day.  Without aid of alarm clock.  It even happened Tuesday morning, after I’d been out doing karaoke and pancakes until 3 a.m.  Crazily, I’m finding that I’m not even that tired.  I’m a little tired, but not the mind-numbing exhaustion that I normally feel when I have to get up that early.

I mentioned this fact to my mother and the boy, and both gave me the same answer (which was a little freaky since I had the conversations with each person separately).  They both were in agreement that I now have a reason to get up in the morning and not hide under the covers.  Which, the more I think about it, I realize is true.

And kind of funny.

And pretty awesome.

The Wheels Of My Mind Are Trying To Turn, But The Hamster Might Be Dead

Published February 12, 2014 by Malia

And if you think that title makes no sense, you have probably had quite a bit more sleep than I have in the last 48 hours.  Things are happening in my life.  For once, it’s things that are good, but they are things I really didn’t expect.  To top it off, they are things I really don’t want to screw up.

Here’s the question I’ve been struggling with.  Have you ever had something become a very real possibility, and even though it was something you never expected, you realize it’s something you desperately want?  Not only that, but once you’ve realized that, you’ve become terrified at the thought of it not becoming a reality?

A few weeks ago I was writing about feeling numb.  I don’t know what happened, but in the last few days my emotions have awoken from their dormant state, and returned with fervor.  I’m now so overwhelmed with feelings I’m struggling a bit to make sense of all of them.  However, I will make sense of them, and everything is going to be okay.

Like I said, good things are happening.  Hopefully, sleep will happen as well.