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All posts for the month April, 2014

Difficult Anniversaries

Published April 18, 2014 by Malia

I realized a few days ago that the last time I attended Good Friday service was in 2011.  My aunt’s church was doing this living Last Supper thing.  It was actually pretty cool.  It was a drama, where the actors did a tableau of DaVinci’s last supper, and each character got to explain which disciple he was, and talk about his role in the story.

As usual, my grandparent’s were in town for Easter, and they went with us to the presentation.  I knew Grampa wasn’t feeling fantastic, but he was determined to go to church that night.  The next day, Saturday, he got progressively worse; and that evening,  my aunt took him to the ER.

I spent the better part of that Easter Sunday with my family in the ICU.  Grampa was in really rough shape, and we really thought that was the end of the road.  It wasn’t, but it was the definite beginning of the end.  He passed away in July of 2012.

The month and a half following that Easter Sunday, I spent a good portion of almost every single day at the hospital and then at the rehab center (after he was released from the hospital).  Looking back, it was a surreal, but incredibly educational experience.

Anyway, like I said, that was the last Good Friday service I went to.  Now, I love Easter.  Being a Christian, the holiday has a lot more meaning for me than just bunnies and chickens and chocolate (however, I never turn down chocolate).  This year I realized that I’ve made zero effort to try to get to Good Friday service since 2011, and I think I’ve finally narrowed down why.  That service in 2011, was pretty much the last time I saw my Grampa even be close to his old self.  Watching him get sicker and constantly waiting for the inevitable phone call was overwhelming.

It’s a weird to think of it as an anniversary, but it is.  And, this year, it’s not one I’m handling terribly well.  I’m really sad.  I miss people in my family being healthy.  I miss my Grampa.  I even miss being a pastor’s kid (although, I’m not sure I’ll ever stop thinking of myself as a pastor’s kid.  I spent 19 years as one, it’s a part of me that I can’t separate from).

Eventually, I’ll go to Good Friday service again, but not this year.

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Can Buttercup Be Brunette?

Published April 11, 2014 by Malia

Every five years or so, I get this urge to go blonde.  It’s not a good idea.  In fact, in the realm of ideas of things to do to my hair, going blonde is pretty much at the very bottom of the list.  I’ll be honest, I make a terrible blonde.  I don’t have the complexion for it; plus,  I’m a natural brunette, and I’ve got just enough copper tones in my hair, that the blonde always goes really super fake looking.

Now, in a few weeks, I’m supposed to be doing my first couple’s cosplay, and we’re doing Dread Pirate Roberts and Buttercup.  I’ve got a killer dress, and while it’s not movie accurate, it will work.  I’m starting to get a little nervous though.  See, Buttercup is supposed to be this gorgeous woman, and every depiction I’ve ever encountered about her has her as a blonde.  I’m neither gorgeous nor blonde.  At best I qualify as semi-adorable and fairly eccentric.   So, y’know, there’s that.

I know that the whole point of cosplay is to represent something you love (and I really do love Princess Bride), so I’m not worried about that; my worry is more that I can’t do justice to this character.  I know I shouldn’t be worried or nervous.  Besides,  the important thing is that when it’s all said and done, fun will have been had.

It’s Not Worth More Than Life

Published April 3, 2014 by Malia

I have a lot of things I’m scared of.  Snakes, spiders, snakes, heights, snakes, anything in a scary movie, snakes…well, you get the idea.  However, the two all time scariest moments of my life actually took place while I was driving (and neither involved snakes).  One, of course, is when I went off the road in a blizzard.  Granted, I didn’t get scared until after being rescued, and I realized that I should have died.  The all time scariest moment came in December of 2009.

It was noon on Saturday, December 5th, 2009, I was with my parents, and I was driving on West Center (a main road here in Omaha).  Being the noon hour, traffic was heavy.  We were sitting in a long line of traffic waiting for the light at 120th & W. Center to change.  I remember looking up in my rear view mirror and seeing a car coming up behind me.  I could tell that it wasn’t slowing down, and even though my foot was already on the brake (because we were stopped), I put as much pressure into holding the brake down as I could.  Right before the car slammed into the back of my car, I saw that the driver was just chatting away on her cell phone, completely oblivious to the fact that she was about to cause an accident.  The impact came, our car was pushed up into the car in front of us, and then unexpectedly the car behind us hit us a second time.  It took a moment, but when no more impacts came, it was time to see what had happened.

Turns out, the woman who hit us wasn’t the only one on her phone not paying attention.  There was another woman in the car behind the woman who rear ended us, and she too was on her cell phone.  You read that right, both women were talking on their cell phones not paying a whit of attention to anything.  Not only that, but it ended up being a paramedic who witnessed what happened who called 9-1-1.  I didn’t have a phone at the time, and the gentleman who’s truck I got pushed into didn’t have one either.  Neither of the two women who caused the accident bothered to ever use their phones to call 9-1-1.

Miraculously, no one was killed, or injured; which considering the fact that both women were going at least 45 mph when they hit is pretty amazing.  (Although, the stress of the event triggered a nightmare medical situation with my mom over the next week, but that’s a story for another post.)

Ever since that nightmare day, I’ve been very anti using your cell phone to text or call while driving.  That accident should never have happened.  So, you can imagine the rage I felt yesterday when I got on Facebook, and saw one of my acquaintances had written that when a guy honked and shook his finger at her for texting and driving, she proceeded to flip him off and continue texting at the same time.  And to make it really great, she hash-tagged it “multitasking.”

Cue Seth and Amy, it’s time for “Really?”.  Really?  REALLY??????

Last time I checked driving is not the time to be “multitasking.”  A car is an incredibly dangerous weapon when used irresponsibly.  And yes, I consider texting and driving to be just as irresponsible as talking on the cell phone and driving.  If you don’t care about your own life, show respect and care for other people’s lives.  People in the cars around you are human beings.  Every single driver is someone’s daughter or son.  Every single passenger is someone’s daughter or son.  This isn’t “The Sims” where you can just recreate the character should Death come knocking.  There is no pause button, and the game doesn’t reset just because someone died.   Those other drivers don’t deserve to have their lives taken away or messed up badly because you don’t have the patience to wait until you’ve reached your destination to use your phone.

At the end of the day, life is too valuable to destroy so recklessly and irresponsibly.

Well, Today Happened…

Published April 1, 2014 by Malia

Sometimes, the best that can be said about a day, is that I got through it in one piece.  If today had walls, I’m pretty sure there would be fingernail claw marks on those walls.  And why is this?

Well, today was one week since I had the big root canal.  Woot woot.  I had a pretty bad reaction to the meds I got sent home on, so I’ve been treating the pain with copious amounts of  ibuprofen.  Now, if you know anything about ibuprofen, taking copious amounts of it for long periods of time is not exactly recommended.  So, over the last three days I’ve been working to wean myself off the ibuprofen, and today I decided to try to go cold turkey.  It actually went better than expected.  The pain is pretty much down to a dull ache, which is totally tolerable.  The only really rough moment came when I decided to try to chew gum.  Yeah, that was quite painful.  On the plus side, Dr. Pepper bubblegum actually does taste like Dr. Pepper.  Pain wise the day was okay.  Emotionally, the day stunk.

This always happens the first day I go cold turkey after being on meds.  I so rarely have to take meds, I really don’t handle them well.  Basically, the first day off, my emotions go completely bonkers.  Everything feels very extreme.  I always feel completely worthless (which I’m not).  I always feel like everyone one hates me (which they don’t).  I get really shaky and feel like I’m going to burst into tears any moment.  It’s a nasty cycle.  Fortunately, the first day is always the worst.  Tomorrow will be better.

In other news, today was the first of April, which means the first Camp NaNoWriMo of the year has officially started.  And I have officially written ZERO words.  Go me.  I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to write about, but I’m sure something will come to me eventually.  It’s more about the exercise of writing than anything.   Although, I’m currently feeling like this when I face the blank paper I’m attempting to fill with words…