happy

All posts tagged happy

White Stuff in the Air

Published November 30, 2015 by ia84

This is what it looks like as I write this…

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If you can’t tell, those white specks are the dreaded snowflakes.

As I’m watching the snow, it occurs to me that snow doesn’t bring grown-ups joy.  When I was little, every kid I knew lived for snow.  Playing in the snow was the greatest thing ever.  Even if school didn’t get cancelled, snow meant the playground got turned into a magical wonderland.  Once snow days are no longer are a part of people’s reality, suddenly snow becomes this evil, awful thing. 

I get it, I really do.  Most of my years as a grown-up have found me griping and bellyaching every time snow is even mentioned.  “Ugh, not snow.  I don’t wanna have to drive in that.”  Snow is a hassle.  It’s pointless.  It gets dirty and makes everything look awful and bleak.  People who’ve spent their whole lives around snow still haven’t figured out how to drive in it. 

However, as I’m watching the big, fluffy flakes fall this morning, I’m feeling very happy and peaceful.  Sure the roads will be crappy later, and I’ll probably be pretty grumpy after dealing with them, but right now that doesn’t matter.  Right now it looks like the beginnings of a Christmas card outside, and that makes me happy. 

It’s been a few hours since I wrote the above, here’s what it looks like now…

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The Playlist

Published September 26, 2015 by ia84

One thing about our wedding that makes me super happy, is the fact that multiple people have told us how much fun they thought it was.  I know I may be biased, but I think they’re right.  Probably one of my favorite things from our wedding is the playlist.

Back when we first started dating, one thing we would do is put YouTube on the Chromecast, and we’d both keep adding videos to the stream.  It made for many hours of inexpensive entertainment.  Since we weren’t having a dance at the wedding, the boy had the idea of putting together a giant YouTube playlist that would run in the background throughout the reception.  It’s filled with nerd music, parodies, and some pretty random weirdness.  It’s also a pretty good look at what entertains the two of us.  So, whether you were at the wedding and confused by the quiet YouTube videos, or just wanting to watch an eccentric stream of videos, I’m going to share the playlist with all of you!

Walking The Tightrope

Published March 8, 2014 by ia84

So…yeah…it’s been a crazy month.  Good crazy, really good crazy,  but crazy all the same.  Four weeks ago I was terminally single, and now I’m not.  In the last three weeks, I’ve been on more dates than I’ve ever been on.  I’ve got so many emotions all fighting with each other, that I’m almost at a loss to know which one I feel the most.  My world definitely has been flipped upside down, and you know what?  I’m perfectly okay with it.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that this guy is a really good guy.  I’m not making it up when I say that he treats me amazingly.  He’s doing awesome at the whole being in a relationship thing.  Which is a good thing…because having never been a girlfriend before, I am completely clueless when it comes to being a girlfriend.  I’m so happy, but I also find myself worrying.  Which is stupid, since I’ve been following that classic advice Just Be Yourself.  (FYI, I’ve heard this advice waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much lately…)

So, what do I worry about?  I worry that I’m being too clingy, too needy, too talkative, too forward.  On the other hand, though, I worry that I’m being the exact opposite of all those things.  Thank heavens, he’s been super patient with me, because I fear that I’ve been a bit of a mess over the last few weeks.

So, I’m going to take deep, calming breaths.  I’m going to try to relax.   I’m going to do my best to continue to try to just live in the present and enjoy it.  Most importantly, I’m going to be happy.

Don’t Mind Me, I’m Just Watching The Unicorns Frolic

Published February 20, 2014 by ia84

Last week I was driving to work, and suddenly an aria burst from my lips.  (O Mio Babbino Caro in case you’re wondering which one.)  Which was…weird.  I realized a few days later that I wasn’t just having arias popping out of my mouth, I was singing along to anything that was on.  Radio at work?  Yup.  Puppet music for new show we’re putting together?  Yup.  Random Youtube videos?  Yup.  Broadway tune that randomly popped into my head?  Yup.

What was even weirder?  I was and am enjoying singing.  Now, I’m sure that what everyone else is finding weird is the fact that I find all of this weird.  The truth is, I haven’t enjoyed singing or playing any kind of instrument since March of 2004.

See, back in March of 2004, I was a freshman in college.  A music education major.  I got off the bus from choir tour, and received some life changing news.  News that had several nasty effects on my life, but one in particular was that I began to hate music.  Me, who had spent all of her life adoring music.  I had loved music so much that when I was sixteen, I chose voice and trumpet lessons over getting a car.  That’s some real love of music.

As the weeks passed from that day in March ’04, I came to realize that my voice wasn’t really as great as I thought.  People put up with it because they were kind.  I wasn’t that great of an instrumentalist either.  Sure, I thought I was, but all the evidence pointed to the fact that my ego was just a little bit blown out of proportion.

I slowly pulled away from the world of music, and stopped singing.  Stopped listening to music.  Only pulled my trumpet out when forced to.

Fast-forward 10 years, and for some reason, along with the dormant emotions that have suddenly woken up, I’m suddenly singing and playing again.  Not because I’m being forced to, but because I genuinely want to.  My voice has changed.  Looking back, I realize that my voice wasn’t the greatest in the world, but I really did have a beautiful soprano voice.  It’s now more mezzo-soprano, but I’m okay with that.  I don’t even care if people hear me sing, I’m singing for my own pleasure.  There’s a joy in it that I’m rediscovering.

Two days ago, I mentioned to mom how surprised I was by the fact I was singing.  I told her that for the first time in forever I actually wanted to sing, and I’d been catching myself singing all the time.  Mom just looked at me and said, “You’re happy.” Which, oddly enough, is what a friend on Facebook said, yesterday, when I mentioned that out of the blue I’d lost 10 pounds.

I guess I am happy.  It’s weird.  I’ve not felt truly happy and at peace in a long time (and by long time I mean 10 years).  I’ve got a job I love, other aspects of my life are starting to make some sense, and I can honestly say that life is generally good.  So, I’m going to be silly, and probably talk to much, and possibly be a general annoyance, but it’s been so long since I’ve even wanted to be any of those things, I’m okay with it.

Diagnosis: Employed

Published January 3, 2013 by ia84

The rumors are true.  I finally have a job.  Not just any job, a full time job at a medical lab.  Next to my dream of being paid to travel all over the world and get paid for it, this is pretty much my dream job.  I cried when I got the official “We’d like to offer you the job” call.  This really is such a weight off my mind.  Knowing that I’m going to be able to pay my bills and face the future with a little more hope just makes me all sorts of happy!

And now, here’s a random picture of Aragorn preparing to do battle against my new (and possibly favorite) mug:

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