Mistaken Identity

Published January 29, 2018 by Malia

I don’t know. Maybe it’s my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened (although it was a first time at this store), and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

This is how I look this morning:

Hair is kinda gross. I’ve got a Starfleet hoodie on. Not a smidge of make-up is anywhere on my face.

I’m in the grocery store. Picking up some fruits and veggies, and general foodstuffs. As I head from the fruit to the drink aisle, I notice that there’s a guy following me. Looks to be in his late 30’s or early 40’s. Fine, whatever. I figure he’s just headed the same direction. I stop in front of the Zivia and because it takes me forever to make a decision, I stand there for at least two minutes. I’m ignoring the guy, and he seems to be looking at the snack food on the other side of the aisle. Suddenly, I hear him say, “I need to know where the cereal is.”

I ignored him, because A. I wasn’t 100% sure where it was (think it was one or two aisles away), and B. there are signs sticking up from each aisle stating what they contain. I just assumed that he was a big boy and could read.

He then pushed his cart closer to me and asked, “You work here, right?”

Okay, so keep in mind the employees of that store wear green t-shirts with the store’s logo, and if they’re cold they have on a grey sweatshirt jacket with the store logo. Plus, they wear name tags. I just stared at the guy wanting to say so many things. So many snarky things. Things like, “Dude, you’ve been watching me pick out produce and then dither over weird soda for the last five minutes. I’m in a Starfleet hoodie and have a freaking purse slung across my body. What about any of this screams I’m employed at this store???” Instead, I replied, “Um…no. Sorry.”

How this happens, I don’t know. I’ve never approached a random stranger in a store and just assumed they’re an employee. And yet, someone does this to me one to two times a year. Never is it just someone asking a question, they ALWAYS say, “You work here, right?” or “You’re an employee here, right?”

It’s pretty easy to figure out if someone’s an employee. If they’ve got the store uniform on and are wearing a nametag, it’s a pretty safe bet they work where you’re shopping. If they don’t, then leave them alone.

On a completely unrelated note, look at the pretty shades we got for our ceiling fan!

One of these days this house is going to look like we might actually be grown-ups. However, the oodles of action figures, comic books, toys, and this sign on the guest bathroom

will probably keep people wondering if we’ll ever grow up.

Short answer, probably not.

Tiny Bathroom Hack

Published January 2, 2017 by Malia

This is the vanity in our master bathroom:

This is how our vanity usually looks. The problem is, our master bathroom is less suite and more dorm. Translation: it’s small. Almost claustrophobic.

When the boy was a bachelor, the bathroom was fine. He didn’t need much counter space; just enough to put soap and a cup. Then he married me and discovered that unlike himself, I needed loads of counter space. I needed everything, readily accessible, all the time. Mostly, he’s been a good sport about it, but as we near the two year mark I can tell that the disaster that the counter has become is definitely an annoyance. Which led to me trying to come up with a solution.

Ta-Da:

A shoe rack was the answer. It works so perfect and I can’t wait for the boy to get home from work so he can see the improvement to our counter!

Life’s not perfect, but I’m so thankful for the ability to fix some of those imperfections.

My weekend to-do list with semi-related pictures I found on Pinterest

Published September 25, 2015 by Malia

1. Make house look like two sane people inhabit it, instead of one sane person and one deranged squirrel person.

Accurate depiction of me avoiding responsibility.

2. Work on wedding Thank You notes. Why is this such a difficult task for me to complete?

3. Find the bathroom decorations that are still packed. I’m tired of our bathrooms looking like they belong in a college dorm.

4. Go to the gym. I hate that when I miss a few weeks at the gym, I actually can tell. I miss being young and unaware of the need to exercise. Now, it makes me feel all the pain, and I tend towards being super cranky.

5. Make bread. We’re completely out, and I want toast.

6. Figure out someway to make the spiders go bye-bye. I want to be able to go sit on my swing without living in fear of having something 8-legged climb on me.

7. Watch Doctor Who. Strange, that I have to actually write this down, but I didn’t have a to-do list written up on Monday and I completely missed the premiere of Big Bang Theory.

8. Find a plant for my office. My boss said it’s fine to put one in the window, I just need to buy one.

9. Actually complete tasks I have on this list.

Why Eighteen?

Published December 31, 2013 by Malia

When I was little (5 or 6) I announced to my parents that we needed to move to Alaska and live in a house with eighteen bathrooms. I was apparently obsessed, because I remember mentioning it to my mom more than once over the next year or two. Her general response involved something along the lines of, “Are you going to clean all eighteen bathrooms?”

Eventually, I realized that my request wasn’t going to be fulfilled, and I pretty much blocked out all memory of it from my brain. And it stayed blocked until two weeks ago. I was driving home from work one night, and suddenly I found myself wondering, “Why eighteen?” Seriously, it’s the most random number. I didn’t have any siblings, so it wasn’t about everyone having their own bathroom. Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if I just randomly grabbed a number out of mid-air in an attempt to impress my parents with what a good idea I had. I’m also not sure why I was so insistent it had to bathrooms. Why not jungle gyms or swimming pools?

I was a strange child. (Yeah, probably should’ve opened with that.)

“I’m a whole lot hotter than I look.”

Published January 2, 2013 by Malia

For Christmas, I got the movie The Decoy Bride. Here’s the trailer, just to get you up to speed on what I’m talking about:

It’s a very predictable film, but incredibly sweet and funny, so it’s worth a watch. Plus, David Tennant is the love interest, so it’s hard not to enjoy it.

The reason I loved this film was because it felt very relateable, or rather Kelly MacDonald’s character was relateable. The first time I heard her line about “hotter than I look,” all I could think was “That’s exactly how I feel about myself.” When I’m not near a mirror, I tend to think of myself as a lot prettier and a lot slimmer. I also tend to think that I’m witty, clever, and generally delightful.

Today was a rare day when, once I got dressed and did my makeup and hair, I actually felt pretty. Not hot or anything like that, but definitely more attractive than usual. To that end, I decided to make today’s photo a first for me. I decided to take one of those infamous bathroom mirror shots. Although, I don’t think I did it right, because I wasn’t holding the camera when I took the picture. So, here’s the photo:

Now, I could’ve cropped the picture, but I thought the hair straightener sticking out into the photo was such a “classy” touch.

Any Second Now...

This will all make sense?

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