Life

All posts in the Life category

The Return of the Lab Hobbit

Published April 2, 2017 by Malia

I went back to work in February.  I’m not sure I was really ready to go back to work, but our bank account was having a really negative attitude, so it seemed like the best option.  Funny thing, the people that send us bills really like when we pay those bills…

I’m back in a lab, a place I was afraid I’d never get to go back to.  Not only that, but I’m in a hospital lab.  I’ve spent years wishing I could be in a hospital lab, and now I am.  I’m feeling quite a bit happier than I have in a long while.  I actually want to go to work, which is always a positive.  As I’m starting my third month there, I find I’m still feeling a little overwhelmed by everything, but my coworkers are the best, and they’re always available to help me through the little hiccups and the big nightmares.

The boy and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary in March.  And by “celebrated,” I mean he woke up two minutes before I left for work, and that was the only time we saw each other that day (he didn’t get home from work until the wee hours of the morning the next day).  I’m hoping that by next year we’ll actually get to celebrate both Valentine’s Day and our anniversary (this year’s Valentine’s Day disaster is worthy of it’s own post).  While celebrating may not have happened, I can honestly say that I am so incredibly blessed to have the boy by my side.  We’re not perfect spouses, we both screw up on a regular basis (me, far more than him) but we do the best we can.  The first two years of marriage have been really difficult.  I’ve cried more in the last year, than I have in my entire life.  It’s been exhausting, overwhelming, and even scary.  However, I think it’s actually drawn us closer together, having to go through this.  I know it’s brought me closer to God (that’s another post, as well).

And now, I’m going to sign off for the night, because tomorrow is going to be here very soon and I can’t afford to sleep through my alarm again (that’s definitely another post.  I’m sensing a theme…).

Lipsense and Vlogging

Published January 12, 2017 by Malia

Kids, buckle your seatbelts.  I tried something new…actually two new somethings.  I hesitated to make this video because the internet can be a cruel place.  However, I didn’t think photos would accurately show what my first reaction to Lipsesne was.  So, if you’ve ever wondered what I sound like, today’s your lucky day.  

I Tried Lipsense
Also, it’s been a few hours since I recorded the video and the gloss has mostly worn off, but the rest of the product is still holding firm and looks beaitiful!

Food Weirdness

Published January 4, 2017 by Malia

It’s only when you decide to blog on a regular basis that you realize just how boring your life truly is.   Example: right now I’m watching Star Trek The Original Series and contemplating smoothie bowls.

I like smoothies.  They’re about the only way I can manage to consume my vegetables (that’s a story for another post).  You can easily drink them, and they’re just pretty great.  However, lately I’ve been seeing pictures of smoothie bowls popping up around the internet.    These things baffle me.  Sure, they’re pretty to look at, but they almost seem to defeat the purpose of making a smoothie.  Instead of a drink you can take with you, it’s a bowl that you have to sit and eat.  That’s weird, right?

So, as you can see, I’m thinking very deep thoughts.  

Tiny Bathroom Hack

Published January 2, 2017 by Malia

This is the vanity in our master bathroom:

This is how our vanity usually looks.  The problem is, our master bathroom is less suite and more dorm.  Translation: it’s small.  Almost claustrophobic.  

When the boy was a bachelor, the bathroom was fine.  He didn’t need much counter space; just enough to put soap and a cup.  Then he married me and discovered that unlike himself, I needed loads of counter space.  I needed everything, readily accessible, all the time.  Mostly, he’s been a good sport about it, but as we near the two year mark I can tell that the disaster that the counter has become is definitely an annoyance.  Which led to me trying to come up with a solution.

Ta-Da:

A shoe rack was the answer.  It works so perfect and I can’t wait for the boy to get home from work so he can see the improvement to our counter!

Life’s not perfect, but I’m so thankful for the ability to fix some of those imperfections. 

New Year, Better Me

Published January 1, 2017 by Malia

The first Sunday, this past November, I received two blows of bad news before I’d headed to church that morning. I’d cried all through service.  Then my parents took me to lunch, and I continued to cry.  Somewhere in the middle of my blubbering, I choked out the words, “I have no hope left.”  

I was so scared.  The depression pit I had been fighting all year wasn’t a new abode for me.  Sure, it’d been a few years since I’d last gotten trapped there, but at least I knew I’d eventually escape.  However, the feeling that all hope, even the hope that I’d eventually feel hope again, had been used up.  Suddenly, the depression pit was a lot deeper, darker, and scarier than it’d ever been.  

As November progressed I cried, a lot.  Usually the tears were due to fear anout the future, but sometimes they were due to frustration or anger or exhaustion (or a combination of all of the above).  The days drug by, and I felt completely immobilized by my depression and anxiety.  Most days I’ve considered it a victory when I get out of bed.  

This last week, has been a bit less dark, and I’m slowly starting to feel like I might be able to pull it together.  But I’m scared.  I’m terrified that depression and hopelessness will suddenly rear up and drag me down into an even deeper and darker pit.  

So, I’ve set some goals for myself for this new year.  Goals that, I hope, will help keep me from completely disappearing into the pit.  I want to get healthy, mentally and physically for myself and for the boy.  The poor, long-suffering boy who loves me so fiercly, and has been there holding on to me through all of this.

1.  Make sure the dirty dish side of the sink is empty every night before I go to bed.

2. Up my water intake.  I really want to try the gallon of water a day challenge, but I’m not sure I’m ready, so I’m starting by just drinking more water period (fairly easy considerimg I rarely drink water).

3.  Rejoin the gym and go five days a week.

4.  Leave the tv off for the better part of the day.

5.  Practice flute, clarinet, and trombone thirty minutes a day five days a week.  Practice trumpet and piano one hour five days a week. 

6.  Write for at least an hour five days a week. 

7. Do one thing in the house that qualifies as cleaning or organizing everyday. 

8.  Limit consumption of soda/junk food/fast food.  

9.  When possible, eat one family meal a week at the dining room table with the tv off, instead of on the couch with the tv on.

I feel that these are all things I can actually stick to, and hopefully with this plan of action 2017 will be amazing!

We’ve Lost Our Princess

Published December 28, 2016 by Malia

When I was five, I wanted Princess Leia to be my mom.  She was gorgeous, funny, and kicked butt.  She spoke her mind, and didn’t let anyone bully her (we all saw what happened to Jabba).  On top of all this, she was a princess!  Five-year-old me was pretty sure she didn’t need much more to recommend her for the position.  However, the role of “mother” was already filled in my house, so all I could do was dream about the mother I’d never have.

When I was in junior high, I read an article in Time and learned that Carrie Fisher had a daughter.  I was secretly jealous of Billie Lourd.  Her mom was Princess Leia, the coolest woman in the world!  She was clearly the luckiest kid on the planet.

It’s been a very long time since I wished to have a space princess mom.  I got older.  I discovered that my real mom was basically Wonder Woman (always saving the day, and loving me more than I deserved), and that in the real world, Princess Leia wasn’t quite so perfect.

Carrie Fisher was a very funny lady, and a fantastic writer.  She did what is so hard to do.  She wrote about the things she struggled with, and did it honestly and beautifully.  I’ve read her memoirs and laughed ’til I cried as I read stories that made my problems seem so small and my life seem so normal.  Without her writing, we wouldn’t know that George Lucas firmly believed that there was no underwear in space.  (I truly wonder what NASA has to say about this.)

Carrie Fisher would’ve made a terrible mom for me.  However, she gave me (and the rest of the world) Princess Leia, and for that I’ll always be grateful.

How do two people use this many dishes?

Published November 14, 2016 by Malia

I officially became a homemaker at the end of January.  Since January, I’ve discovered that I officially suck at being a homemaker.

Our house is a disaster.  When I moved in, the boy already had the house filled with his things, and I liked his things.  Big problem, though, I had boxes and boxes of my own things, and I happen to like my things too.  Right now, 75% of my things are still in boxes in the room that we don’t talk about.

Oh, the room.  Picture Monica’s secret closet, and just imagine it as a whole room.  Okay, it’s not that bad.  It’s not packed full to the ceiling.  There are just stacks of boxes everywhere.  We don’t talk about the room, because every time I go in there to try find something, I end up wanting to cry and then spend hours beating myself up because I have ZERO clue how to organize this house.

Both my mom and my mom-in-law have offered, many times, to come and help me make sense of the nightmare.  And I know that I should accept their help.  I need their help, but I’ve yet to take them up on it because I’m embarrassed.  It’s humiliating to be almost 32 years old, and be incapable of making your house look like grown-ups live there.

I’ve tried.  I honestly have.  It always starts out well.  I do the dishes.  And by that, I mean, I empty the dishwasher of the dishes that have been sitting in it for two or more weeks, and then fill it up from the pile of dishes that has been growing in the sink for weeks.  Then, once the dishwasher is filled and running, if I’m feeling really gung-ho, I’ll wash a bunch of dishes by hand.  Once the sink is empty I’ll turn my attention to the ever-inflating mountain of laundry, and I might even get the bathroom cleaned.

So, it probably sounds like I’ve pretty much got everything under control, and there should be no problem.  My house should be spotless at this point, right?

Wrong.

See, I’ll have a super productive day, and then the boy comes home from work, and I’ll make food.  Making food leads to the sink being filled with a bunch of dirty dishes.  When I look at that pile of dirty dishes, I just absolutely shut down.  I’ll have been so proud of myself for getting things done throughout the day, and the new pile of dishes seems to cancel out everything else I got done and I feel like I’m back to square one.  And, instead of just being an adult, I go into avoid mode…for days or sometimes weeks.

I don’t know why I go into avoid mode.  I know that there are no faeries that are going to come in the middle of the night and clean my house.  And yet, I apparently believe that is exactly what is going to happen.  There’s just something so defeating about doing a chore and  within a few hours you’re back to square one.

I have no idea how moms do it everyday.  Take my sister-in-law, for example.  She’s mom to the two most precious, adorable, energetic little boys on the planet (nope, I’m not biased at all).  She works full time, is always helping out with things at church, and her house is gorgeous.  I am just in awe of her, and I wish I could be half the amazing woman she is.

The challenge here really is just sucking it up and being a grown up.  And now I’m going to go put another load of laundry in the washer because we are officially out of clean underwear.

Also, there’s only ten shopping days left ’til my birthday.