Life

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The Tail of a Cat

Published February 12, 2013 by Malia

Shortly before I turned 5, my family moved from Denver to a little town in southern Illinois.  We took a long two cats, Gracie and Marshmallow, some gerbils, and some fish.  Not long  after we settled in, the neighbor’s cat came around to visit with her kittens.  She did this everyday for a couple of days.  It was late fall, and the weather was turning cool.  Mom couldn’t stand it, and she started leaving out food.  Pretty soon, the mamma cat stopped coming, and only one little kitten remained.  Somehow mom and I convinced my dad that we needed to take the kitten in.  So, into our lives came a third cat, which in my 5 year old wisdom I named, Andrew George Mittens the Third.  Andrew came about because at the time I was convinced that “Andrew” was simply the greatest boy name in the world.  George was attached because our cat Gracie was named after Gracie Allen, so I thought it was appropriate to name the boy cat after George Burns.  Mittens was because he had little white paws that emerged from his tabby coat.   I didn’t quite comprehend the fact that “the Third” referred to line of descendants.  I just thought it fit since he was the third cat we had at the time.    Anyway, Andrew, George, and the Third rarely got mentioned, and he came to be known as Mittens.

Mittens quickly grew from being a tiny pathetic kitten, into a bit of a behemoth.  He remained this for as long as he was in my life.

The first year I was in 4-H, I decided to spend the year preparing my cat to be judged at the county fair.  Owning him was as close to owning livestock as I was gonna get.  When I took him to the fair, I had to take him up to a panel of judges which included a veterinarian.  Things didn’t exactly go smoothly.  Mittens decided it was a good time to hiss and be generally unsociable.  My mom ended up coming and holding him in place.  The vet was terrified of him.  I think the fact that I wasn’t scared of something she was, is what got me a blue ribbon.

We discovered, one day by chance, that Mittens could be called by the sound of hysterical crying.  We were watching an episode of Little House on the Prairie, and Mittens was nowhere around.  In the episode, Nellie Olson started fake hysterical crying.  Out of nowhere, Mittens lumbered in desperate to check on mom and I.  He was certain something was wrong.  He never failed to come when I was crying.

When I turned 9, I had a really bad case of pneumonia.  It actually hit a few weeks before my 9th birthday, and lasted until the middle of February.  I missed the better part of 3.5 months of 3rd grade.   The night I was at my worst, was the day we had gone to the doctor.  The doctor prescribed me meds, and told my mom that if I got worse, I had to be admitted to the hospital.  That night, mom sat on my bed and pleaded with God.  To say we were poor would be an understatement, and there was no way we could’ve afforded a hospital trip.  All that night mom prayed, and like he had from when I started getting sick, Mittens sat attentively on the foot of my bed.  I did start to slowly get better after that night, and didn’t have to go to the hospital.  Two weeks later when we went to the doctor for a check-up, he was in shock.  He told my mom that he had thoroughly anticipated that I would be in the hospital the night of my last visit.  He also told her that he had expected that I would die in the hospital.

Mittens lived with us, and saw me almost all the way through my teenage years.  He was fat, and precious, and crabby, and wonderful.

When I was a freshman in college, I was living several hundred miles away from home, and things at home took a bad turn.  My parents moved, and they couldn’t take Mittens with them.  So, he went to live with a neighbor.  He was really old at that point, and not in the greatest health.  I never got to say good-bye, but I think (or at least I hope) that he somehow knew that we loved him and didn’t leave him willingly.

I’m sure he’s gone on to kitty heaven by now, but I hope he knows how marvelous and how precious and how important he was in my life.

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I feel good, I feel great, I feel wonderful…

Published February 11, 2013 by Malia

I’m not dead, yet!  It’s true.  I’m not at 100% yet, but I’m feeling about 50% better than I did this time last night.  I’m not sure what exactly I managed to come down with, but it’s been a real “treat” having it.  I look forward to not blowing my nose anymore.  On the flip side, I’m quite thankful that I have access to Kleenex and Nyquil.  I just hope this week goes quickly so that I can have a fun filled weekend next weekend.

So, let’s see, what non-trying-to-die things have been going on in my mind lately…

-I really wanted to go to a movie this weekend.   I haven’t been to one since I started working a month ago, and while that’s not really a long time, I just think it’d be fun to go now that I actually have a steady, reliable source of income.

-Speaking of, I still have a job!  Granted, I missed a day and a half last week, but as far as I know they still like me and want me to continue working there!  Oddly, the day I missed completely, I was so bored I found myself wishing I was at work.  However, I was so sick, being at work would’ve been a bad thing.

-Finally watched the Doctor Who Christmas special.  While it wasn’t bad, it just isn’t going to go down in history as one of my favorite Who episodes.  However, I’m even more intrigued with the Clara Oswin Oswald character than I was before.  I’m also hoping that she’s going to be a transition companion.  While Matt Smith has grown on me (yikes, that makes him sound like some sort of medical condition), I just feel like it’s time to move on.  He’s getting close to wearing out his welcome.  Bring on Twelve I say!

-Going in the ditch in South Dakota has been on my mind, a lot, lately.  I’m not sure why.  I guess it’s the first time in my entire life that I truly felt utterly and completely helpless.    Not 100% sure what to do with this, guess I’m still processing it.

-I’m finally getting around to writing the second draft of my NaNo story.  The going is slow, especially since I’m pretty much only working on it during my break time at work.  Guess it’s more a labor of love than anything else.

-Are there any good dating etiquette guides out there?  I’m so confused and have no idea how one goes about dating.  It was so much easier when you had gentlemen callers come call on you in the family parlor.

-Thinking I need to get my hands on season 2 of Downton because I was utterly confused by the whole “Her Ladyship’s soap” bombshell that Thomas gave Bates.  It has to be something from season 2, and since I missed most of season 2, if this is something from the show I would assume that’s where it’s from.

Why thank you, I would like some cheese with my whine.

Published February 3, 2013 by Malia

I admit it.  I don’t handle pain, sickness, or anything else that’s vaguely unpleasant well at all.  I am a pain wimp.  I woke up about 4 am today with terrible pain radiating through my body.  It did ease off eventually, and  I was able to get more sleep.  About mid-day, the awful pain returned, and it hasn’t left.  It’s like the worst case of cramps I’ve ever had, except it’s hurting all over.  If you’ve never had cramps, count yourself fortunate.  The severe ones are not unlike having a tooth pulled without sedation.  I wish I was exaggerating.

Anyway, the whole family is having bouts with the flu, and so my aches are just adding to the general fun of the house.  However, since I was home today, I got to see the next episode of Downton Abbey.  I missed last week’s episode, and since it was the only spoiler about the season I knew, I didn’t feel terrible about missing it.  So, anyway, here are my predictions as to what the remainder of the season has in store.  These are just predictions, so the only spoilers are regarding things that have already been shown.  I’ve done a decent job of insulating myself against finding out what’s going to happen, which hasn’t been simple in light of the fact that most of the rest of the world has already seen the whole season.

1.  I’m pretty sure Daisy is going to move to the farm.  I think realizing that Sour-Puss has no interest in her was just the thing to push her in the farm direction.  Overall, this would make me quite happy, because he does not deserve her, and she does deserve some happiness.

2.  Speaking of Daisy, I’ll be surprised if Jimmy (or rather, James) doesn’t come calling.  I think he’s sweet on her, and beneath his pretty boy shell, so far he seems to be a pretty decent guy.  I certainly hope I’m not mistaken.

3.  I believe that O’Brien is going to out Thomas.  Much as I can’t stand her, this would be a positive use of her evilness.  Maybe it’ll take her out of the picture too.

4.  I’m expecting for Tom, in his grief, to decide that he absolutely can’t abide living without returning to Ireland.  This will lead to Mary and Matthew taking baby Sybil.  The only other scenario I see taking place is that Matthew will convince Tom to stay and help with the farms.  Either way, I expect Mary to step in to a mother type role in Sybil’s life.

5.  I am expecting an epic blow-out between Matthew and Lord Grantham.  Not sure how it’s going to play out, but there’s so much tension, something is going to cause an explosion.  I truly thought it was coming tonight, but I guess the girls got the fun of being the target of Lord Grantham’s ever-shortening fuse.

6.  I really don’t think Bates is in the clear quite yet.

Now, I know it’s just wishful thinking, but I would really, really like to see Carson and Mrs. Hughes get together.  I have a feeling that they are going to turn out just like Anthony Hopkins and Emma Thompson did in Remains of the Day, but since that movie scarred me for life, I’d really like to see this love story get a happy ending.

One final thought, not related to my obsession with British soap operas:  If you are ill, and (like me) can’t miss work, make a point of covering your coughs.  Put your mouth in your elbow.  Don’t just aim towards the elbow, or raise the elbow, actually physically cover your mouth with your elbow.  This business of people either barely making an effort, or making no effort at all is extremely frustrating. Cover up your mouth!  This isn’t rocket science, people!

Revised Emergency Plan

Published January 31, 2013 by Malia

Tonight if aliens invade, or orcas attack, or I find myself suddenly at the mercy of a group of chipmunks who have somehow figured out how to invade my home and climb my loft bed, I have one plan and strategy alone.  I’m just going to lay here in bed and not move.  At all. I am that tired.  I seriously thought earlier that if aliens did invade I’d be super excited because either they would A. be wise and kind and have medical advancement that would be able to deal with my exhaustion and I’d feel fresh and renewed, or B. they shoot and kill me and the disintegration would be quick and I’d be in Heaven, and there would be no more exhaustion.  So, really, win/win.  I’m so tired, I don’t even care that my grammar is lousy tonight.

I still absolutely adore my job, even though it was a bit frustrating tonight.  I had three different people give me completely different sets of instructions about the same exact thing.  I was more than a little confused.  Plus, I felt my inner Sheldon trying so hard to scream, “You’re in my spot!”  Even though spots aren’t assigned at work, we all kind of have certain areas that are more or less our space.  My happens to have all sorts of helpful post-its hanging up with good reminders.  When I came back from supper, one of my coworkers had completely taken over my space.  Inside all I could think was, “You’re in my spot.  You. Are. In. My. Spot.”  Yeah, I’m thinking the counseling center might’ve been on to something by telling me that I have an adjustment disorder.  Anyway, I resisted the urge to actually vocalize my feelings, but I was a bit disappointed when my co-worker left, and didn’t put anything back.  That’s just not polite.  So, not only did I get to clean up the area I was working in, but I also had to put my normal area back in order.    Okay, yeah, I’m whiny and crabby.  I’m thinking I may need sleep.

I’m also thinking that I need to get my chimichanga and white queso on my way to work tomorrow.  I like having something special for lunch on Fridays.

I’ll Never

Published January 28, 2013 by Malia

Never is an interesting word.  Have you ever found yourself thinking, “Well, I’ll NEVER do/be/go/live that/there?”  Why, why, why do we say it?  It’s like we’re asking to be doomed to that fate.  Notice, most people don’t use never in a positive manner.  It’s always, “I’ll never be stuck in a dead end job.”  “I’ll never live in North Dakota.”  “I’ll never marry that person.”  You get the point.  Never seems to be this prophetic word.  I wonder what would happen if you said “never” about things that you actually want to have happen?  “I’ll never live in Hawaii.”  “I’ll never lose the weight.”  “That person will never marry me.”  Of course, that seems like it might backfire.    

Pillow Talk

Published January 24, 2013 by Malia

My bed is cold.  Every.  Single.  Night.  My bed is lonely.  Every.  Single.  Night.  I’m surrounded by pillows, but you know what the problem with pillows is?  Pillows never ask you how your day was.  Pillows just lay there in various forms of flatness, and are silent.  In fact, if my pillows start talking, I’m pretty sure I have bigger problems than just having a cold, lonely bed.  My point is, on some levels being in my late 20’s and single truly has it’s downsides.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, I greatly enjoy some parts of being single.  I love that if I want to go hang with friends, I have no worries about if I have plans already, or if my friends will accept my boyfriend into our group.  I love that I can be pretty selfish when it comes to my money.  If I want to buy a book or movie or video game (although, I’m pretty sure most guys don’t care if their girls buy video games) and I have the money, it’s no big deal.

Overall, though, as the years pass and I remain single it tends to get more wearing.  I just want someone to share in this adventure of life with.

To this end I was having a conversation with two really close friends a few weeks ago, and one friend asked me if I had a list of what I was looking for.  I had a mental list, but afterwards, I realized that I’ve never written down that list before.  Then earlier this week, as I was praying that God would bring that special someone into a friend’s life, I realized that I’ve never actually prayed that God would bring someone into my life.  So, I immediately texted one of my 3 very bestest friends and asked her if she would pray with me about this.  I really don’t believe I was created to be alone.  I believe that I am alone right now, because there are lessons I am in the process of learning.  However, the desire to be married has yet to be removed (and crazy as it sounds, I’ve prayed it would be), so I’m changing up how I pray.  I rarely ask for help from anyone (even God), which is pretty wrong.  It’s not that I’m too proud, I’m kind of backwards. I don’t want to bug people or God with my needs or wants, because I feel they’re so paltry compared to people with real needs.

Anyway, since I’m not desiring my pillows to develop voices, and I’m not wanting to be known to my “niece” as the crazy cat lady, here’s my list of what I’m looking for:

1.  Not just a fan, but completely on fire for Jesus.

2.  Loves pets; sans bugs, snakes, and spiders.

3.  I don’t care if he’s a sports fan, but he needs to be okay with the fact that I am not, nor will I probably ever be a sports fan.  Also, if I do watch sports, I rarely cheer wildly.  However, I totally love the Olympics, and he will have no problem getting me to sit and watch those games.

4.  Enjoys musicals.

5.  Loves movies.  Going to the movies is something I really love doing, and I would hope that I’d be able to be with someone who not only enjoys the whole going to the theater experience, but is willing to make entertaining comments throughout.

6.  Loves British t.v. shows, especially all things “Who.”  I have always had a soft spot for things produced by the BBC.  Generally, they’re quite a bit better than most things on American television.

7.  Loves books.  Hmmm…maybe this should be a bit higher on my list.  Yeah, it probably belongs up there as number 3.

8.  Family relationships should be important.  I’m pretty much it when it comes to parent care on my side of the family, so he’s going to have to be okay with this, and willing to help me.  Also, it’s super important to me, despite my age, that he ask for my father’s permission to date/court/marry me.

9.  Wants to travel, visit museums, go to the zoo, see the world, and take pictures of all of it.  I admit I’m not a great photographer, but I really love to take pictures.  I want to be with someone who enjoys travel and photography as much as I do.

10.  Be okay with the kid thing.

Let me explain number 10.  (And yes, I’ve kind of talked about this before, and yes, it may be slightly graphic and uncomfortable to read.)

Last fall, when everything went really south, health-wise, I found myself sitting, facing a doctor who was trying to figure out how to deliver unpleasant news.  She had to tell me that it was highly unlikely that I would ever be able to have children.  To this day, I don’t envy doctors who have to tell women this.  Fortunately, for her, I didn’t go into hysterics or any of that sort of reaction.  In fact, I pretty much had already guessed.  I’d known for a long time that certain parts didn’t work right.  Parts that are required to carry a baby through a pregnancy.  Her telling me, just confirmed what I already suspected.  Now, I’ve never been wild about having kids, but I certainly thought having one might not be too bad.  I’m okay (mostly, but believe me there have been some intense discussions with mom and with God regarding the fact that there are 15 year old’s who sleep with everything and get knocked up, and yet I try to be a good kid, and not only do I have this whole nightmare weight situation, but I also have a body that doesn’t understand the basics of how to work right) with all of this, but recently I’ve found myself wondering if this will be a huge check-mark against me for guys.  It seems that a lot of guys, even good guys, are obsessed with the idea of producing babies.  I guess they need to know that their sperm can swim in order to feel like a “real” man.  I figure that if I there’s someone out there who can love me, knowing that I can’t have babies (unless a miracle takes place), then they truly love me, and don’t just view me as breeding stock.

11. Doesn’t take himself too seriously, or say mean-spirited things, thinking he’s being funny.

12.   Loves, respects, and treats me as a partner, not just someone who’s supposed to clean and cook.  In return, I guarantee that I will love, respect, honor, and be loyal.  I’m looking for a best friend.

And there you have it.  I know that we can’t always have what we want, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to be specific.

Vintage?

Published January 22, 2013 by Malia

This May marks 10 years since my name got called and I got my high school diploma.  Well, Sunday I got the Facebook invite to my first class reunion.  I’m really torn, because part of me would love to see everyone again, but there’s this other part of me that just doesn’t want to go anywhere near it.  I don’t want to be reminded that I’m about the only one who didn’t get their bachelor’s degree, nor have I got anyone in my life/or kids.  Maybe I’ll just wait for the 20th.  Surely, surely I will have accomplished something by then…

Anyway, one of my friends from high school posted a story on the reunion page about the fact that someone had borrowed her old cheerleading uniform, and brought it back to her at work.  Some young girls apparently saw it and exclaimed, “OMG! Thats so cute…totally vintage!”  Seriously?  Vintage?  I thought that at least 20 years had to go by before we qualified as owning vintage stuff.  Also, I remember what those uniforms looked like, and I really don’t think that there’s been that much advancement in the field of cheerleading uniforms in the last 10 years.  I wonder if those girls actually understand what the word vintage means.

10 years.  It’s nuts.  It certainly doesn’t feel like 10 years.  No, actually it feels more like 30.  I’m so glad I don’t have to go back and relive those 10 years, because while I wouldn’t change the friendships I’ve made, life itself has been kind of a nightmare.  The first time I actually breathed and felt like I was finding the self I knew 10 years ago happened about 3 weeks ago when I started at my new job.  Every day I look in the mirror and see flashes of a face of the girl I used to be.  Older and wiser (?), but more in tune with what she knows, what she wants, and confidence in who she is.  10 years is a long time to spend wondering if you’ll ever be those things again, and trying desperately to find them.

So, I may be vintage, and they may play songs on the oldies radio that were produced after I was born, but I think I’m going to be okay with all of it.

This is rare…

Published January 21, 2013 by Malia

That’s right, it’s a morning post!  The sun is actually out (or at least I’m assuming it is out somewhere behind the piles of dark grey clouds outside) as I write this.

There’s not very much that’s new in my life.  I’m quite busy at work.  I really love that it lets me make use of my minimal OCD-ness.  I’m really only OCD at work, although my parents are really hoping that maybe my need for everything to be in a certain place and done a certain way will translate into my room getting put in order and my boxes unpacked.  I’m not sure why it’s so difficult for me to unpack.  Maybe it’s because I have moved so many times, I just am leaving stuff packed because subconsciously I’m expecting to move again, and what would be the point of unpacking in that case?  (Wow, that’s a terribly constructed sentence, and yet I refuse to fix it.  I’m just that kind of rebel.)  Anyway, work is pretty fun and on occasion slightly gross.  I like that while there’s the structure of routine, I’m getting different specimens to sort every day, so I never get very bored.  This is a good thing, because I get bored quite easily.

I’ve been working out almost daily (usually M-F with breaks on the weekend).  I can tell my clothes are fitting much better.  I haven’t had a chance to weigh myself in a while, so I have no idea what my weight actually is currently.  Therefore, I’m labeling my weight as “Less-Fat.”  I’m still fat, just not as fat as I was.  I’ve been using the Leslie Sansone walking videos to work out.  I do anywhere from 1-3 miles a day.  It all depends on how awake I am and whether I get to go to work at regular time, or if I have to leave and hour earlier for work (car fun, which has led to sharing of vehicles, which means I usually end up at work 1.5 hours early.  This is okay, though, because I’m getting lots of reading done!)

I got a new betta this weekend.  My last betta, Elvira, passed away while I was at school last fall.  She was living here at home because I wasn’t sure she’d survive the 8 hour drive to Grand Forks.  Anyway, the new betta is a really beautiful blue color, and kind of looks like the eye of a peacock feather.  I had a terrible time not bringing home all the bettas at the store.  I know they’re a little fish, but it seems kind of inhumane to keep them in those itty-bitty little cups.  It makes me quite sad.  Enough with the sadness.  My new betta is named Perseus Jackson or PJ (for short).  I figured that naming a beautiful fish after the son of Poseidon could only help it survive!  Now, I’m just wishing I could figure out how to take a good picture of him.

Random Saturday Musings

Published January 13, 2013 by Malia

-It has been reinforced to me this week just how many STDs are floating around out there.  I’m baffled by how many people engage in sex without having their partner thoroughly tested.

-It really sucks just how depressed my diabetes meds make me.  Doesn’t help that I forgot to take my meds for about a week, and when I started up again I got hit really hard with the depression.

-I’m thinking I want to save up for one of those giant bean bag chairs.

-I’m glad that my hair is finally long enough to braid.

-The first images from Catching Fire are really making me want to see the film, even though I had pretty much decided I didn’t want to see it.  The books are fantastic, but so depressing.  However, I’m thinking I shall probably plan to see it.

-Pizza sounds amazing right now.

-I am soooooooooo overwhelmingly excited for my first real paycheck in years!

-Tonight a friend used the words, “Make it so.” while we were talking online.  The only thing that would’ve made it more entertaining would be if he had included a photo of Picard.

Old People Smell

Published January 9, 2013 by Malia

This may sound weird, but I’ve discovered that I can tell if a specimen is from an old folks home even before I check the paperwork.  If it’s from an old folks home, as soon as I open the bag, I’m assaulted by nursing home smell.  If you’ve never smelled a nursing home, then you’re fortunate.  That smell alone is enough to keep me from ever wanting to end up in one of those places.

While on my breaks and lunches I’ve been working my way through the Percy Jackson series.  So far I’ve finished the first two books, and tonight I started on book 3.  I read the first book a few years ago, after seeing the movie, but never got around to the others.  I’m sorry I didn’t read them before.  I think they’re a fantastic take on Greek mythology, and a really excellent introduction to it if you know minimal about it.  I’m super excited for the second film to be released (which is supposed to happen later this year).

I’m pretty pumped that I’ve survived my first half a week of work.  I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that I really am employed, and not just on an internship.  I’m not sure it’s going to sink in until I’ve been there a few months.  I find it really entertaining that whenever I meet another employee and they realize I’m new, the first thing they say is, “You’re going to love it here!”  I’m not kidding, I’ve gotten this from everyone I’ve met (lab people, billing people, custodial people, you get the idea).  So far, I really do.  I love that it’s a busy job, but people are pleasant to each other and don’t seem to let the stress be building up to an explosive point.