Respect

All posts tagged Respect

I’m Grateful and Rageful

Published November 28, 2013 by ia84

I’ll get to the rage in a moment.  First, what I’m thankful for.

1.  Family.  Good times or bad, I love that I have a close family that is very supportive of each other.

2.  My excellent friends.  I’ve been very blessed with five wonderful women that I consider to be very dear friends.  Each one knows me, faults and all, and still lets me be part of their lives.

3.  My job.  A year ago, I never would have guessed that I was just weeks away from starting a job I truly love.  A job that I gladly go to, and that I truly enjoy.  Also, I have a really fantastic supervisor, and I’d be really lost without her.

4.  My love of reading, and the easy access to an almost unlimited supply of books that there is.

5.  The roof over my head.

6.  A working vehicle.

7.  Snapple.  Silly, I know, but it’s quite yummy.

8.  Doctor Who.  I love this “kid’s” show.  It’s smart, funny, and is something I can share with my family and friends.

9.  I’m generally healthy, and have much to live for and look forward to in this life.

Okay, so, it’s not so much rage as irritation.  Tomorrow is Black Friday.  I understand the theory behind the day.  It makes sense that businesses want to try to get in the black before the year ends.  However, and yes I know I’m not the only one saying this, it has gone from out of control to complete absurdity.  It used to be just one psycho day, but now it’s almost a full week.  How is  this okay?  Plus, it seems that there’s at least one death every year in connection with Black Friday shopping.  People’s lives should be of more value.  What does that say about this culture when possessions are held in higher esteem than a human being?  Don’t misunderstand me, I’m as greedy as the next person, but even I have my limits.

So, if you’re going to take part in the madness, remember that your fellow shoppers are human beings.  Remember that the people working in the stores aren’t making very much, aren’t getting to spend time with their loved ones (and have likely missed most and/or all of Thanksgiving), and being rude to them isn’t going to make things go any better for you.

Pillow Talk

Published January 24, 2013 by ia84

My bed is cold.  Every.  Single.  Night.  My bed is lonely.  Every.  Single.  Night.  I’m surrounded by pillows, but you know what the problem with pillows is?  Pillows never ask you how your day was.  Pillows just lay there in various forms of flatness, and are silent.  In fact, if my pillows start talking, I’m pretty sure I have bigger problems than just having a cold, lonely bed.  My point is, on some levels being in my late 20’s and single truly has it’s downsides.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, I greatly enjoy some parts of being single.  I love that if I want to go hang with friends, I have no worries about if I have plans already, or if my friends will accept my boyfriend into our group.  I love that I can be pretty selfish when it comes to my money.  If I want to buy a book or movie or video game (although, I’m pretty sure most guys don’t care if their girls buy video games) and I have the money, it’s no big deal.

Overall, though, as the years pass and I remain single it tends to get more wearing.  I just want someone to share in this adventure of life with.

To this end I was having a conversation with two really close friends a few weeks ago, and one friend asked me if I had a list of what I was looking for.  I had a mental list, but afterwards, I realized that I’ve never written down that list before.  Then earlier this week, as I was praying that God would bring that special someone into a friend’s life, I realized that I’ve never actually prayed that God would bring someone into my life.  So, I immediately texted one of my 3 very bestest friends and asked her if she would pray with me about this.  I really don’t believe I was created to be alone.  I believe that I am alone right now, because there are lessons I am in the process of learning.  However, the desire to be married has yet to be removed (and crazy as it sounds, I’ve prayed it would be), so I’m changing up how I pray.  I rarely ask for help from anyone (even God), which is pretty wrong.  It’s not that I’m too proud, I’m kind of backwards. I don’t want to bug people or God with my needs or wants, because I feel they’re so paltry compared to people with real needs.

Anyway, since I’m not desiring my pillows to develop voices, and I’m not wanting to be known to my “niece” as the crazy cat lady, here’s my list of what I’m looking for:

1.  Not just a fan, but completely on fire for Jesus.

2.  Loves pets; sans bugs, snakes, and spiders.

3.  I don’t care if he’s a sports fan, but he needs to be okay with the fact that I am not, nor will I probably ever be a sports fan.  Also, if I do watch sports, I rarely cheer wildly.  However, I totally love the Olympics, and he will have no problem getting me to sit and watch those games.

4.  Enjoys musicals.

5.  Loves movies.  Going to the movies is something I really love doing, and I would hope that I’d be able to be with someone who not only enjoys the whole going to the theater experience, but is willing to make entertaining comments throughout.

6.  Loves British t.v. shows, especially all things “Who.”  I have always had a soft spot for things produced by the BBC.  Generally, they’re quite a bit better than most things on American television.

7.  Loves books.  Hmmm…maybe this should be a bit higher on my list.  Yeah, it probably belongs up there as number 3.

8.  Family relationships should be important.  I’m pretty much it when it comes to parent care on my side of the family, so he’s going to have to be okay with this, and willing to help me.  Also, it’s super important to me, despite my age, that he ask for my father’s permission to date/court/marry me.

9.  Wants to travel, visit museums, go to the zoo, see the world, and take pictures of all of it.  I admit I’m not a great photographer, but I really love to take pictures.  I want to be with someone who enjoys travel and photography as much as I do.

10.  Be okay with the kid thing.

Let me explain number 10.  (And yes, I’ve kind of talked about this before, and yes, it may be slightly graphic and uncomfortable to read.)

Last fall, when everything went really south, health-wise, I found myself sitting, facing a doctor who was trying to figure out how to deliver unpleasant news.  She had to tell me that it was highly unlikely that I would ever be able to have children.  To this day, I don’t envy doctors who have to tell women this.  Fortunately, for her, I didn’t go into hysterics or any of that sort of reaction.  In fact, I pretty much had already guessed.  I’d known for a long time that certain parts didn’t work right.  Parts that are required to carry a baby through a pregnancy.  Her telling me, just confirmed what I already suspected.  Now, I’ve never been wild about having kids, but I certainly thought having one might not be too bad.  I’m okay (mostly, but believe me there have been some intense discussions with mom and with God regarding the fact that there are 15 year old’s who sleep with everything and get knocked up, and yet I try to be a good kid, and not only do I have this whole nightmare weight situation, but I also have a body that doesn’t understand the basics of how to work right) with all of this, but recently I’ve found myself wondering if this will be a huge check-mark against me for guys.  It seems that a lot of guys, even good guys, are obsessed with the idea of producing babies.  I guess they need to know that their sperm can swim in order to feel like a “real” man.  I figure that if I there’s someone out there who can love me, knowing that I can’t have babies (unless a miracle takes place), then they truly love me, and don’t just view me as breeding stock.

11. Doesn’t take himself too seriously, or say mean-spirited things, thinking he’s being funny.

12.   Loves, respects, and treats me as a partner, not just someone who’s supposed to clean and cook.  In return, I guarantee that I will love, respect, honor, and be loyal.  I’m looking for a best friend.

And there you have it.  I know that we can’t always have what we want, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to be specific.

You’ll Be An Adult For Forever!

Published August 8, 2012 by ia84

This has been the summer of babies.  As mentioned previously, I became an honorary aunt this summer.  On top of that, this past spring my cousin and his wife had their first child.  Whenever I see either baby, I’m reminded just how quickly childhood passes.

Personally, I wasn’t in a big hurry to become an adult (and some might argue that I’m not an adult).  I wasn’t in a rush to get my driver’s license.  My parents pretty much had to drag me to the DMV.  (Side note: I enjoy driving now, and I’m so glad they made me get my license.)  I never dated, but since no one was really interested in dating me that pretty much that point null.  Mom and dad certainly didn’t do much pushing to make me grow up.  They made sure I knew basic adult things like driving, cooking, cleaning, living on a budget, and being a polite, responsible human being.  Looking back, it’s pretty clear to me that I am so glad that they let me be a kid when I was a kid.  But, I digress, back to the babies.

I’ve been thinking about what I would want to tell kids as they are growing up and facing all that goes along with being an adult.  By no means is what follows a complete list (I’m sure I’ll make additional posts with follow up thoughts), but here’s what I’ve got now.

1.  Have Fun

This probably seems like a no-brainer, but to me it’s important.  Fun is different things to different people.  Some people find running to be fun.  Others find skydiving fun.  I find sitting for hours on end, in a quiet room, alone reading giant books to be fun.  When you are an “adult” it’s incredibly easy to get bogged down in work or personal issues and never come up for air.  This will turn you into a hollow shell of a person.  Make time, even if it’s only a few minutes, to do something you enjoy.

2.  You are NOT the smartest person in the room.

“But wait!” you may be saying, “I’ve got an IQ that’s triple what yours is.  I build rockets and perform brain surgery at the same time!  Sheldon Cooper was based on me!  I don’t watch Jersey Shore.”  Yes, these are all things that are evidence that you are smart.  However, I have always maintained that everyone is smart (keep in mind, I developed this theory years before reality tv became a regular part of daily life), but we’re all smart about different things.  I’ve known people who really struggled with reading and considered themselves dumb, but they knew absolutely everything about raising cattle and were incredibly successful at it.  I’ve also known people who can figure out difficult math problems and with only a pen and a napkin, but when it comes to music, they’re pretty lost.  I’ve got loads more examples, but my point is that you should never look down on someone just because they don’t get what you’re saying.  It doesn’t mean they’re stupid, it just means that your expertise is not their expertise.  I’ve yet to meet someone who doesn’t excel at something.  Treat everyone with respect, and never consider someone beneath you, just because you don’t think they’re as smart as you.

3.  Life’s not fair.

When I was in high school I was really good at music.  Along with all the school band and choir groups I was involved in, I made it into honor bands and choirs all over the state, and I frequently got to show off.  Towards the end of my high school career (I can’t remember  if it was my junior or senior year, it was a long time ago), I received a letter inviting me to participate in a trip, along with other kids from around the state, doing musical performances.  These performances would be in Europe.  I desperately wanted to go, but I didn’t even get my hopes up because I knew it was financially impossible.  My parents saved all year just so they could send me to music camp and let me take lessons.  I was so busy with music, and other extracurricular activities, there was no way I could’ve even hoped to come close to making enough at a job to make it.  So, I threw away the letter, and when I  got a call from my former band director’s wife (who was in charge of the trip), I was able to hold my ground and tell her it was just impossible.  Was it hard?  You have no idea, but I survived.  I really hope to make it, at least to London and Loch Ness, someday; but if I don’t, it won’t be the end of the world.

Life’s not fair.  There are going to be times when you don’t get what you want.  Don’t believe me?  Watch the Olympics.  Everyone wants the gold medal, but only one person gets it.  If you aren’t into sports, go on a job interview.  There’s always at least one job candidate who doesn’t get hired.  This candidate might be you.  It’s no fun to be rejected.  Sometimes it will make no sense, and even if you fight for yourself, it still may not end in your favor.

4.  Take advantage of travel.

Missing out on Europe brings up the fact that if you do get to travel somewhere, go, even if it’s only within your state.  Visit museums.  Even if it’s just the local historical society’s  county museum.  Historical places are important.  They teach us where we’ve come from.  Attend at least one county or state fair in your life.  All of this will all expand your mind and experience in ways that television and internet can’t.  (Although, if you can’t travel internationally, watch the Rick Steves’ travelogues.  Not only will you get to see many amazing places you might not see otherwise, he’s got loads of travel tips that are useful, even if you never travel the world.)

5.  Write

You may never be a best selling author.  So what?  Just because no one reads what you write, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write.  Write stories.  If they’re terrible, don’t feel obligated to share.  If you can’t write stories, keep a journal.  Even if the best you can do is, “Had tacos for lunch with roomie.  I think I’m going to buy that lamp I saw at Menard’s.”  These things may not seem important now, or even like something you’ll forget, but someday you may forget, and then you’ll be glad you wrote.

6.  Avoid reality television.

I’m not talking about HGTV teaching you how to pick the perfect house.  I’m talking about things like, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, Big Brother,  just to name a few.  I try to avoid reality shows, but the few times they’ve been unavoidable, the behavior shown by the stars makes me cringe.  These “stars” are vain, selfish, rude, and morals get thrown out the window if it means they could do something to increase ratings.  Reality shows don’t show what the real world is like.  What concerns me the most about them is the fact that too often it seems they advertise that this week Person X  gets into a fight Person Y.  What is that teaching a society that does nothing but watch hours and hours of this stuff?   If nothing else, avoid reality shows, because five minutes of a reality show is the most intellectually draining thing I’ve ever encountered.

I do have more to add, but it’s getting late, and I’m getting tired.  So, for now I’ll end here.