Today, I boxed up the boy’s old dishes, and supply of plastic glassware, and unpacked my dishes & non-plastic glassware and put it away on the shelf. I’m in the middle of making my second loaf of bread, with my super awesome new bread machine. I cleaned the master bathroom. I emptied the trash out of my car (it was such a mess, it went well beyond embarrassing). I accomplished much, and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I accomplished nothing.
If I were Suzy Q. Homemaker, I’d have everything clean, the basement would be completely organized, the laundry would be going, the thank you notes would be written and delivered, and all of my belongings would be unpacked and put away and no longer living in boxes making the guest room look like a disaster area storage unit. (And I wouldn’t be writing long run-on sentences. Also, I wouldn’t be using terrible grammar because I’m too lazy to go back and fix obvious mistakes.)
As of today, we’ve been married for three weeks, and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. It’s hard to explain. It’s been a crazy amount of change in a very short amount of time. Before three weeks ago, I’d never kissed a guy, let alone lived with one. Before three weeks ago, the most responsible thing I had to do everyday was just make sure I got myself to work. The boy has been amazing. He’s incredibly patient with me, and that’s truly what’s getting me through this.
I had lunch with my dad yesterday, and I was telling him about how frustrated I am with myself. Basically, I want to be SuperWife, and falling short of mark makes this perfectionist want to cry. I told him that I wish I had taken more than a week and a half off from work. I had no idea how overwhelming and stressful this all would be. He was really sweet and kind, and asked me, “How do you eat an elephant?” Now, the correct answer is, “One bite at a time,” but lately I’ve been approaching things, “The whole thing in one bite!”
So, I’m going to do my best to hang up the cape. Let some other poor woman try to be SuperWife. I think right now the best thing I can do for the boy and myself is just be Wife.
There’s something about publicly announcing I’m going to blog more regularly that seems to send my brain into rebellion and causes me to blog even less frequently than I was. Which strikes me as completely ridiculous. So, just to be safe, I’m done making proclamations regarding how frequently I’m going to write or how much weight I am going to lose.
So, this is how I’m spending the wee hours of Saturday morning…
I’m hanging out at the comic book store while the boy participates in the midnight pre-release of the next set of Magic cards. This is actually a pretty big deal among those who play. Some of these people will be here until five or six a.m., and then be back in a few hours to play for several more hours. I’m not playing because I really, really, really, REALLY stink. I make the worst players look like experts. After a brain frying day at work I’m just not in any mental state to play a strategy card game. However, I do enjoy hanging out and supporting the boy and getting lots of reading done. I love that I can sit in the corner and read for hours on end, and no one cares or tried to bug me.
Also, I’ll be honest, it’s a nice break from wedding stress. I’m only 56 days away from the wedding, and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m really excited about the future and the wedding, please don’t think I’m not. However, there’s so much new and different that is headed towards me at break-neck speed and it’s a little scary. I’m moving in with a boy. That’s a definitely a first. I’m gaining a whole pile of relatives all at once. I’m changing my name. I’m going to have to give up my wild, single girl habits (Translation: I have to start showing some restraint in the Kindle book purchasing). This is only the short list, there are so many other things I could be listing off, but the goal is to not be stressing at the moment, so the list ends here.
56 days is not a very long amount of time…maybe I should start thinking about packing…
That’s right, it’s a morning post! The sun is actually out (or at least I’m assuming it is out somewhere behind the piles of dark grey clouds outside) as I write this.
There’s not very much that’s new in my life. I’m quite busy at work. I really love that it lets me make use of my minimal OCD-ness. I’m really only OCD at work, although my parents are really hoping that maybe my need for everything to be in a certain place and done a certain way will translate into my room getting put in order and my boxes unpacked. I’m not sure why it’s so difficult for me to unpack. Maybe it’s because I have moved so many times, I just am leaving stuff packed because subconsciously I’m expecting to move again, and what would be the point of unpacking in that case? (Wow, that’s a terribly constructed sentence, and yet I refuse to fix it. I’m just that kind of rebel.) Anyway, work is pretty fun and on occasion slightly gross. I like that while there’s the structure of routine, I’m getting different specimens to sort every day, so I never get very bored. This is a good thing, because I get bored quite easily.
I’ve been working out almost daily (usually M-F with breaks on the weekend). I can tell my clothes are fitting much better. I haven’t had a chance to weigh myself in a while, so I have no idea what my weight actually is currently. Therefore, I’m labeling my weight as “Less-Fat.” I’m still fat, just not as fat as I was. I’ve been using the Leslie Sansone walking videos to work out. I do anywhere from 1-3 miles a day. It all depends on how awake I am and whether I get to go to work at regular time, or if I have to leave and hour earlier for work (car fun, which has led to sharing of vehicles, which means I usually end up at work 1.5 hours early. This is okay, though, because I’m getting lots of reading done!)
I got a new betta this weekend. My last betta, Elvira, passed away while I was at school last fall. She was living here at home because I wasn’t sure she’d survive the 8 hour drive to Grand Forks. Anyway, the new betta is a really beautiful blue color, and kind of looks like the eye of a peacock feather. I had a terrible time not bringing home all the bettas at the store. I know they’re a little fish, but it seems kind of inhumane to keep them in those itty-bitty little cups. It makes me quite sad. Enough with the sadness. My new betta is named Perseus Jackson or PJ (for short). I figured that naming a beautiful fish after the son of Poseidon could only help it survive! Now, I’m just wishing I could figure out how to take a good picture of him.