An actual conversation that happened last week:
Me: I was out today running errands, and LITERALLY every single woman I saw was either pregnant or had a pile of small kids or both. I honestly think we’re having all the sex, and everyone else is getting pregnant.
The Boy: That’s not how it works.
Me: No, I’m pretty sure it is. Like, three people announced on Facebook today that they’re pregnant. So, yeah, I’m sticking with this argument.
The Boy: You’re saying that the sperm and the egg leave here and go elsewhere and other people get pregnant?
The Boy: Again, that’s not how it works.
Me: You don’t know! I’m the medical professional, this is totally how it works!
After that, the conversation slipped into further nonsense.
Here’s the thing, I honestly am happy for all y’all that are gettin’ preggers and poppin’ out babies. I really am. Please don’t think that I’m not. I’m sorry if I cry or seem not as enthused as everyone else (I try really hard not to do that except when I’m alone or with the boy). And please, please, please don’t ever keep it from me that you’re expecting because you’re afraid it’ll make me sad. I’m 98% happy for all you expectant mamas. There’s just this annoying 2% of me that is a little jealous and a little sad. That’s fair, though, right? I can be 2% selfish.
So what do you do when your baby making parts aren’t magic? You build Lego sets. Lego sets with dragons and elves. Seriously, it’s excellent therapy.
And now these sets are living on my coffee table, because they’re pretty and they make me happy.