A few weeks ago, a friend texted me this:
When I met this friend, a year ago, I had no idea she’d become my infertility/pcos bestie. Up until she entered my life, my friends could be divided into the following categories:
1. Pregnant (or will become pregnant very soon). Also, probably, has at least two kids already.
2. No kids, and no desire for kids.
3. No kids, and not trying, but will probably have a gaggle sometime in the near future.
As you can see, there’s no category for “No kids, and the baby making parts are refusing to do their job.” The category that I belong in. Weirdly, until this woman entered my life, I had no idea how much I needed a friend who fit in that category with me.
Because, here’s the thing. We all need someone who understands where we are in life and can honestly attest to the fact that the struggle sucks. Being alone in a struggle is one of the worst, most lonely places to find yourself. I love having a friend that can commiserate with me over the fact that daily tracking of cervical mucus is super boring when it NEVER bothers to exist. (My chart is one of the most unexciting you’ll ever see.) And as much as I love the pregnant people in my life, and am excited that they get to be parents; there are times that the pain and frustration of feeling broken, because my body doesn’t work right, needs to be vented.
I give the boy credit, he’s so loving and supportive, and has never once told me I’m broken. But, he doesn’t truly know how I feel. My friend does.
She’s been trying for years and years longer than I have. She’s been through a journey that I’ve just barely begun to have a taste of.
So, if you are going through the infertility battle and you don’t have anyone that understands, please know that I do. I get it. You’re not alone.