Friends

All posts tagged Friends

The Swimsuit Is Not The Enemy

Published July 27, 2014 by Malia

Have you seen the thing floating around Facebook lately?  The thing where you’re supposed to post five pictures of yourself that you think make you feel beautiful, and then you’re supposed to tag your friends?  Yeah, that thing.  So far, I’ve been tagged twice.

Lucky me.

That was sarcastic, in case you couldn’t tell.  The boy is right, there totally needs to be a sarcasm font.

Anyway…I find this concept difficult because for as long as I can remember, I’ve honestly never felt beautiful.  Photographs just make me feel even worse about myself.   This isn’t me fishing for people to say things to make me feel better about myself, I’m just stating a fact.   From what I can tell, I’m not terribly different from other human females when it comes to how I see myself.

Last night, though, I had a bit of a paradigm shift.  A few friends on Facebook has posted a link to an article, and the title got me curious enough to read it: Exposed by My Children for What I Really Look Like.  Even though I don’t have kids, the self-loathing the author describes is something I can definitely relate to.  What I couldn’t relate to was how the author was able to see the good things along with the negative things.  The more I thought about it, though, the more I came to realize that I’m cheating myself out of a lot in life by only seeing the negative.  The flaws are going to be there.  They just are.   That doesn’t mean that I should run away from doing the things I love.  Things like swimming.

I want to go swimming.  I adore swimming.  I spent my whole childhood wishing and wishing I had a pool, and now that I live in a complex with one available 24 hours, I avoid it all costs because I hate myself in a swimsuit.  I hate how I look in one.  I hate other people seeing me in one.  I think child me is probably pretty disappointed in grown-up me.  And I don’t blame her.

So, I’m going to learn to love myself and accept how I look.  I’m going to look in the mirror every morning when I’m bleary-eyed and my hair is a bed-head disaster and say, “I am beautiful, I am lovely, I am precious, and I have value and worth.”

Oh yeah, here’s the 5 photos.  I’m forcing myself to use photos from the last 5 years, which considering how much I hate photos was a bit of a challenge coming up with 5 of them.  (Also, I’m relatively certain that as much as I love the people in the photos with me, they may not be thrilled that I’m highlighting them like this.  But them being in the photo with me is part of what makes me feel beautiful)…

1.  This is not a great quality photo, but I really love it.  I love these beautiful ladies.

2.  This picture was taken a few years ago when all of us ladies were heading different directions in our lives, and we weren’t 100% sure when we’d all see each other again.

3.  Okay, I really do love this picture.  This was when we were praying over my “sister” right before she walked down the aisle.  That was a good day 🙂

4.  I think mom kinda hates this photo, but I love it.  This was taken about 3 months after we almost lost her.  She was still recovering, and looks much healthier now.  But when this picture was taken, I was so glad I still had her, that was what was most important.

5.  Of course, it’s a picture with the boy.  It’s true, he exists!  He’s not just a figment of my imagination.  This is from Free Comic Book Day, last May.  He’s the Dread Pirate Roberts, and I’m a brunette Buttercup.  Also, fun fact, this is (as far as I know) the only photo of us that exists.  Hardly surprising considering how camera shy we both seem to be.

 

 

The eyes are the what of the face?

Published January 23, 2014 by Malia

A few weeks ago, I got to thinking about anatomy.  The stuff on the inside makes sense to me (liver, kidneys, brain, heart, etc…).  There’s a purpose to all of it, and it all looks pretty cool, too.  Then I got to thinking about all the parts of our bodies that are actually visible.  Which led to me sending the following text to one of my best friends:

“Nipples are weird.  Basically we’ve all got these little buttons made of flesh.  Doesn’t that seem weird?”

The reply?  “Have you been drinking?  That is so random…haha.”

I hadn’t been drinking, but the point remains that I find the whole concept of nipples to be really bizarre.  Sure, they serve a purpose as far as nursing goes.  However, if you’re not nursing, they end up just being these weird, almost mole-like protrusions on your chest.  And almost everyone on the planet has them.  (I’m assuming that there are people that are born without them.)  That’s weird, right?

Also, I’m thinking that I don’t appreciate my friends nearly enough.  Only the truly awesome friends will still acknowledge they know you even after they receive text messages contemplating the purposes of various parts of anatomy.

I’m Grateful and Rageful

Published November 28, 2013 by Malia

I’ll get to the rage in a moment.  First, what I’m thankful for.

1.  Family.  Good times or bad, I love that I have a close family that is very supportive of each other.

2.  My excellent friends.  I’ve been very blessed with five wonderful women that I consider to be very dear friends.  Each one knows me, faults and all, and still lets me be part of their lives.

3.  My job.  A year ago, I never would have guessed that I was just weeks away from starting a job I truly love.  A job that I gladly go to, and that I truly enjoy.  Also, I have a really fantastic supervisor, and I’d be really lost without her.

4.  My love of reading, and the easy access to an almost unlimited supply of books that there is.

5.  The roof over my head.

6.  A working vehicle.

7.  Snapple.  Silly, I know, but it’s quite yummy.

8.  Doctor Who.  I love this “kid’s” show.  It’s smart, funny, and is something I can share with my family and friends.

9.  I’m generally healthy, and have much to live for and look forward to in this life.

Okay, so, it’s not so much rage as irritation.  Tomorrow is Black Friday.  I understand the theory behind the day.  It makes sense that businesses want to try to get in the black before the year ends.  However, and yes I know I’m not the only one saying this, it has gone from out of control to complete absurdity.  It used to be just one psycho day, but now it’s almost a full week.  How is  this okay?  Plus, it seems that there’s at least one death every year in connection with Black Friday shopping.  People’s lives should be of more value.  What does that say about this culture when possessions are held in higher esteem than a human being?  Don’t misunderstand me, I’m as greedy as the next person, but even I have my limits.

So, if you’re going to take part in the madness, remember that your fellow shoppers are human beings.  Remember that the people working in the stores aren’t making very much, aren’t getting to spend time with their loved ones (and have likely missed most and/or all of Thanksgiving), and being rude to them isn’t going to make things go any better for you.

Whosday

Published September 25, 2012 by Malia

Okay, so I think I’ve decided that Tuesdays are going to be my day to geek out over books and movie and tv.  Hence calling it “Whosday.”  (This is mostly a tip of the hat to my enduring love of Doctor Who.)

I’ve just started reading the Matched book series.  I finished the first book, and am a little ways into the second.  It’s an interesting series.  Much like The Hunger Games, the main character, Cassia, is a girl living in a dystopian society.  Basically, Cassia signs up to be “matched” (have an arranged marriage decided by the government based on statistics) and she accidentally gets matched to two guys she knows.  Being matched to someone you know is a rarity, and being matched to more than one person just doesn’t happen.  There’s a war going on, but you don’t really get into that until you’re closer to the end of the first book.  The story is quite interesting, but the writing is a little difficult to read.  It feels like it needed one more rewrite before getting published, but I can’t really complain because I’m not the one who wrote it and making money off of it.

I’ve really been enjoying watching Go On.  It’s this show on NBC about this guy who’s wife dies, and he has to join a grief support group.  It’s an interesting take on death and grief.  I think what I like about it is the fact that they’re dealing with an incredibly uncomfortable subject.  I grew up surrounded by death and regularly attending funerals(granted it was other people’s losses, not my own, the fun of being a pastor’s kid), so it was something I grew up knowing about and talking about.  I remember what a shock to my system it was when I discovered how many of my peers had never attended a funeral.  I even had friends around whom I couldn’t even mention anything to do with death or funerals.  The show is funny and sweet, and just a little strange.  Plus, it’s really nice to see Matthew Perry on t.v. again (he was always my favorite on Friends).

Happiness is…

Published September 23, 2012 by Malia

-Good friends who you can say or do anything in front of and they still love you.

-Cheetos

–Castle and Big Bang Theory start this week!

-The Emmy’s have been ridiculously boring, but the Big Bang Theory sketch was pretty entertaining.

-There’s still no snow!

-Having a whiteboard calendar.

-Being able to read.

-Being able to go to college.

-That I’ve been gifted with nearly 28 years of life.

-All the people that are near and dear to me.  I’m not good at telling people how important they are to me, and how much they have impacted my life.

Happiness is…

Published September 16, 2012 by Malia

-Making a new friend.

-Watching a really good movie that I haven’t seen in a while and being reminded why I liked it so much.

-For the first time in my life I don’t feel wishy-washy about whether or not I’m in the right degree program.

-Getting a philly at late night.

-Being able to avoid political ads.

-Living on a schedule.

-Not having to be dependent on anyone else for my own happiness.

-Having teachers that actually want me to think for myself and not just vomit back to them what they think.

-Having friends to be homesick with.

-Reading fun things for class.