funeral

All posts tagged funeral

Oh Look, A Bandwagon…

Published August 13, 2014 by ia84

Growing up, my life was surrounded by death.  I’ve mentioned before that I grew up a pastor’s kid.   The first church my dad was a pastor in, was also the church the town mortician attended.  This meant my dad officiated A LOT of funerals.  In the four years we were at that church, I attended more funerals than most people will ever have opportunity to attend.  Then, when I was in junior high and high school, I regularly went to play Taps at veteran funerals.  (The perk of living in the middle of nowhere and being a trumpet player).  All of these experiences had a bit of weird impact on how I deal with death.  Mainly, funerals don’t freak me out, and death doesn’t terrify me.  I will admit that I can tend to be a bit callous about death.  It’s not intentional.  I have a very dark sense of humor, and on occasion I have cracked jokes that are in terrible taste, sometimes relating to death/dead people.  (Nothing beyond PG, but definitely in poor taste).

Most deaths don’t get much reaction from me.  People live, people die, more people are born.  It’s the circle of life…

Yeah, I went there…

The point is, death has been such a large part of my life, I tend to just accept it as something that happens.  When people die, I feel sympathy for their friends and family members they leave behind, but I’m afraid that sometimes I don’t feel very much beyond this about the dead person…

And yes, I do realize how horrible that makes me seem.

So, I was surprised by how sad I felt when I heard that Robin Williams had committed suicide.  I can count on one hand the amount of celebrities whose deaths have really made genuinely sad (Jim Henson, Charles Schultz, and Mr. Rogers, in case you’re wondering).

It would be very easy to sit here and judge him for selfishly giving into an “easy” out.  It would be easy to be angry that he willingly gave up a future, when there are millions who wish they could live for just one more day.

It would be easy, but it wouldn’t be right or fair.  I’m reminded of what Tolkien wrote, ““Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.”

I pray for those who are struggling with depression and who will witness this and think suicide might be their best plan.  As someone who’s been down that road, I can honestly say life does get better.

My heart aches for his family.  I grieve the laughs that will never be, and the talent that has been silenced.

I’m Really Not Trying to be Rude

Published March 2, 2013 by ia84

Tonight is just one of those nights.  It’s been a super strange week, and now I find myself torn between wanting to just be left alone, and yet being so lonely I want to go be with my friends.  It’s a vicious circle.  Anyway, the week is just kind of ending on a meh note.  Plus, I have all these thoughts in my head and no one to tell them to, so this is going to be my dumping ground, so my thoughts don’t eat me up… (the you I mention isn’t directed towards any particular person, just people in general)

-Don’t compare yourself to me.  I’m not you and you aren’t me.  We’re different people with our own separate issues.  I’m not comforted when you jump in on every single thing I say to tell me how you have the exact same problem.

-I use self-depricating humor so that people will know that I know what’s wrong with me.  If I mention it first, then it takes the club away.  No one can beat me up about something I’ve chosen to mock about myself.

-If you can’t survive without being part of a couple, then you need to be single.  I’m not saying this to be mean.  You need to know who you are.  You need to know how to do things for yourself.

-I have the right words, and likely I have the right answers.  Putting them into practice, though, is so much harder.  I wish I was better at it.

-Yes, I spend to much time on the internet.  No, that’s probably not going to change anytime soon.

-Why is it that we always try to blame the bad stuff in our past on current ill behavior?  I’m just as bad about this as everyone else.  Truth is, we’ve all got bad stuff in our past, but we make the choice everyday as to how we’re going to handle life.  Yes, our past does color our viewpoint, and have bearing on how we behave, but that’s still not an excuse.

-I was informed today that I needed to start planning my funeral if I’m not going to eat right and start exercising.

-Why is there so much obsession over vampires, werewolves, and zombies?  I find Faeries to be much more interesting.

-Sometimes I worry that my mood is so dark, I’ll never see the light again.

 

Whosday

Published September 25, 2012 by ia84

Okay, so I think I’ve decided that Tuesdays are going to be my day to geek out over books and movie and tv.  Hence calling it “Whosday.”  (This is mostly a tip of the hat to my enduring love of Doctor Who.)

I’ve just started reading the Matched book series.  I finished the first book, and am a little ways into the second.  It’s an interesting series.  Much like The Hunger Games, the main character, Cassia, is a girl living in a dystopian society.  Basically, Cassia signs up to be “matched” (have an arranged marriage decided by the government based on statistics) and she accidentally gets matched to two guys she knows.  Being matched to someone you know is a rarity, and being matched to more than one person just doesn’t happen.  There’s a war going on, but you don’t really get into that until you’re closer to the end of the first book.  The story is quite interesting, but the writing is a little difficult to read.  It feels like it needed one more rewrite before getting published, but I can’t really complain because I’m not the one who wrote it and making money off of it.

I’ve really been enjoying watching Go On.  It’s this show on NBC about this guy who’s wife dies, and he has to join a grief support group.  It’s an interesting take on death and grief.  I think what I like about it is the fact that they’re dealing with an incredibly uncomfortable subject.  I grew up surrounded by death and regularly attending funerals(granted it was other people’s losses, not my own, the fun of being a pastor’s kid), so it was something I grew up knowing about and talking about.  I remember what a shock to my system it was when I discovered how many of my peers had never attended a funeral.  I even had friends around whom I couldn’t even mention anything to do with death or funerals.  The show is funny and sweet, and just a little strange.  Plus, it’s really nice to see Matthew Perry on t.v. again (he was always my favorite on Friends).