Well, I suppose some adults pay them completely naked. And others pay them in 18 layers. And, as long as they’re able to pay their bills the world will just keep on spinning. And if they can’t pay their bills the world will probably keep on spinning anyway.
It’s funny, when I was little, I had this weird idea of what adulthood was. I knew being adult meant working, and possibly getting married, and having a pile of rugrats constantly attached to various limbs. I knew it meant being responsible, and if you did screw up you should learn from the experience because otherwise you’d just end up in a vicious cycle of stupidity. Even though I was aware of all this, I really never comprehended how truly annoying paying bills is.
Can you tell I just got done paying yet another round of bills? Yay for being a responsible adult. However, right now, I’m just wishing I was five again, playing on the neighbor’s trampoline, completely responsibility free.
Today, I boxed up the boy’s old dishes, and supply of plastic glassware, and unpacked my dishes & non-plastic glassware and put it away on the shelf. I’m in the middle of making my second loaf of bread, with my super awesome new bread machine. I cleaned the master bathroom. I emptied the trash out of my car (it was such a mess, it went well beyond embarrassing). I accomplished much, and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I accomplished nothing.
If I were Suzy Q. Homemaker, I’d have everything clean, the basement would be completely organized, the laundry would be going, the thank you notes would be written and delivered, and all of my belongings would be unpacked and put away and no longer living in boxes making the guest room look like a disaster area storage unit. (And I wouldn’t be writing long run-on sentences. Also, I wouldn’t be using terrible grammar because I’m too lazy to go back and fix obvious mistakes.)
As of today, we’ve been married for three weeks, and I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. It’s hard to explain. It’s been a crazy amount of change in a very short amount of time. Before three weeks ago, I’d never kissed a guy, let alone lived with one. Before three weeks ago, the most responsible thing I had to do everyday was just make sure I got myself to work. The boy has been amazing. He’s incredibly patient with me, and that’s truly what’s getting me through this.
I had lunch with my dad yesterday, and I was telling him about how frustrated I am with myself. Basically, I want to be SuperWife, and falling short of mark makes this perfectionist want to cry. I told him that I wish I had taken more than a week and a half off from work. I had no idea how overwhelming and stressful this all would be. He was really sweet and kind, and asked me, “How do you eat an elephant?” Now, the correct answer is, “One bite at a time,” but lately I’ve been approaching things, “The whole thing in one bite!”
So, I’m going to do my best to hang up the cape. Let some other poor woman try to be SuperWife. I think right now the best thing I can do for the boy and myself is just be Wife.