Life

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Why so serious?

Published September 23, 2015 by Malia

A few months ago I found myself at dinner with a group of women.  Since they all have small children, most of the conversation focused on said small children.  I heard many gross stories (mostly involving throw-up.  I came home and kind of freaked out.  The poor boy was met with the line of questioning, “Did you know kids throw up?  Cause they do!  Like all the time!  Pretty much everywhere!  It’s all they do!  It’s their entire life’s purpose!  You can’t even change the sheets because they’re just gonna hurl all over them!”). 

There was one point in the evening when the topic of blogging came up.  I got asked if I’ve ever gotten any mean comments.  I replied that I don’t really get many comments, but the ones I have gotten have always been fine, kind even.  However, I don’t really write anything inflammatory.  I write fluff.

The truth is, I could easily write multiple posts about how mad and/or offended I am by whatever the trending thing that everyone is mad and offended by.  But, what would be the point of that?  Sure, I’d probably get more readers if I was loud and opinionated all the time.  I won’t lie, that would be kind of nice, a bit of an ego boost.  But, at the end of the day, what good would it do?  The internet is already full of loud, opinionated, angry people, how would I be making the world a better place by adding my voice to that seething cesspool of hate? 

Besides, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m kind of a wreck.  I’m not the most emotionally healthy person you’ll ever meet (more healthy than some, less healthy than most).  More than once it’s been mentioned to me that I’m a bit manic.  So, keeping that in mind, it would be unwise for me to constantly write about things that upset me, because it would just lower my mood and do a number on my general emotional state.   

Instead, I’m going to keep writing about fluff.  Talking about how much I love my Jams (www.mannaberry.jamberrynails.net)!  Sharing about my car drama.  Raising eyebrows about the weird world of medicine.  Mooning over the boy. 

And if you’re really desperate to get my opinion on something controversial, feel free to ask.

‘Tis The Last Brakes of Summer

Published September 22, 2015 by Malia

It’s the last day of summer and I thought the perfect way to celebrate the end of a summer filled with car trouble would be to have my brakes completely go out.  Okay, they’re not completely gone…yet…  I’m sure in some parallel dimension they’re working absolutely perfectly, but this dimension saw me driving to work this morning, scared to death, wanting to cry every time I rolled through an intersection.   You never realize how many lights there are on your daily commute until you find yourself unable to stop and praying, “Lord, don’t let anyone hit me, and PLEASE don’t let me hit anyone.”  Let me just say, I am super thankful that I don’t work nights anymore.  Going to work in the early morning means minimal traffic to deal with. 

It’s hard to believe that the summer is at an end.  This year is just going by too fast.  I know when I was little I always found it funny when adults would talk about time going quickly, or something happening not long ago (15-30 years is apparently not long ago to old people).  Time passing quickly is one of the things I truly dislike about getting older. 

You know what else goes quickly the older you get?  The flavor in gum.  When I was little, I could chew a piece of gum for hours before it lost it’s taste.  Now, I’m lucky if the flavor lasts more than thirty minutes.  Is it just me, or is gum less high quality these days?  Plus, to get any decent bubble blowing done, you have to chew 4-5 pieces.  That’s just wrong.  And yes, I’m almost 31 and I still blow bubbles (soap and gum). 

So, good-bye summer.  Hello fall.

Bring on the Bouquets of Sharpened Pencils!

Published September 1, 2015 by Malia

September is here.  That means the leaves will start turning brilliant, beautiful colors very soon.  It’s not long until it gets cooler out (yay!), and before you know it almost everything will be flavored Pumpkin Spice.  You’ll go to McDonalds, and they’ll be all, “Would you like to try our new Pumpkin Spice chicken nuggets?”    The problem with Pumpkin Spice is that it gets WAY overused.  Pumpkin Spice hot chocolate=Good.  Pumpkin Spice M&M’s=Bad.

September also means that pretty much all the kids have gone back to school.   Soon they will all be sharing everything, including some really fun diseases.  It’s good to share, kids, but I’m sure your parents would appreciate you not bringing the flu home any sooner than you absolutely have to.

The start of a new school year has always fascinated me.  For a very brief window of time, students get to make a fresh start.  Sure, the previous school year was absolutely abysmal, but it’s a new year.  It’s time to be more mature.  It’s time to actually do homework.  It’s time to prove you’re smart and not just a wallflower.

It occurs to me that the kids aren’t the only ones making a fresh start this new school year.

A little over a month ago, I came to a startling realization.

I’m married.  I’m no longer single.

Okay, I know this shouldn’t be such a shock.  I think in my head I knew I was married, but I was so scared that it wasn’t real, I was refusing to let my heart believe it was true.  However, it is true.  Our marriage isn’t perfect, we’re not perfect  people, but we sure are adorkable!

See, we’re super adorkable!

At the same time it hit home for me that we really are officially a permanent part of each other’s lives, it also dawned on me that I had a really bad habit.  I’m an emotional eater.

It started way back in junior high.  I was getting bullied, and the only way I could deal was by eating.  Which lead to even more bullying.  It was a vicious cycle.  Once junior high ended things got better, and I did pretty well throughout high school.  It helped that I was in swing choir, because I got a pretty good workout most days of the week.  Then in 2004, a year out of high school, things went pretty kablooey at home, and I found myself constantly eating.  I didn’t want to burden people with my emotions, and to be honest I really didn’t trust most of the world around me.  So, I ate…and ate… and ate…and ate…  I turned my brain off, because I didn’t want it to tell me I was full, and to stop eating.  Instead, I spent the next several years eating and ballooning.  There were a few times I made weak efforts at losing the weight, but frankly I didn’t really care enough to make it work.  Besides, by 2011 I was convinced I was going to grow old and be the crazy spinster cat and book lady.  So, it didn’t really matter if what I weighed or how I looked.  The only person who cared was me, and I really didn’t care.

Now, though, there’s this boy, and crazily enough I trust him.  I trust him enough to realize that it’s okay to vent about my frustrations verbally, instead of eating a large Hawaiian pizza by myself.  He cares about me, and actually wants me to be healthy.  And more than that, I want to be healthy for him.

The worst part about having a bad habit  is trying to break it.  In August, I made a goal of not eating fast food for a month.  I also joined Weight Watchers.  I actually did pretty well.  I only had fast food 3 times, and I was really good about tracking what I was eating.  Now as I head into September, I once again am planning to avoid fast food all month.  I’m also not going to drink any soda.  I did have to cancel Weight Watchers, not because I hated it (I actually loved it), but because I found out that a bill that I knew was going to go up this month is going to go up quite a bit more than I was originally told.  I don’t know that we’ll be seeing a skinny me anytime soon, but I’m at least making an intentional effort now.

Trash Can Down

Published August 9, 2015 by Malia

I’ve always had cats with weird quirks, but this is a new one.  Doctor Mew is absolutely obsessed with this awesome, 12 year old, dolphin emblazoned trash can.

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Mainly, his obsession is knocking it over, every…single…time he notices that I have set it right-side up.  I’m not sure what his deal is.  I’ve only seen him try to get in it twice.  Usually, he finally notices that it is sitting upright, and then stands on it until it slides over onto its side.  Then he walks away.

Our Family Has Grown By Four Paws

Published July 31, 2015 by Malia

When the boy and I first got together, I made it pretty clear that to love me is to love (or at least gracefully tolerate) any various pet (live or stuffed) that I may hold up in front of his face, while squealing something along the lines of, “Doesn’t he have just the most precious widdle face you’ve ever seen?”  We both agreed when we got married that eventually we’d have a dog or cat, but the timing wasn’t optimal at present.  I still needed to finish (and by that I mean start) unpacking, and we just needed to settle into being a married couple.  This is the first time either of us has lived with someone as more than just a roommate.  Adjusting has to happen.

The first few months, I did good.  Yes, I desperately wanted to go to the shelter and get a little unwanted kitty, but I knew the boy was right.  We needed to wait.  And then I got mono.

If you’ve read any of my recent posts, you’ll know the whole “yay, I got mono for the second time in my life”  story.   If you don’t know the story, basically I spent all of May trying to figure out why I felt so rotten.  Beginning of June, found out I had mono.  It was a pretty “magical” time in my life.

So, I was beginning to recover, when one of my friends let me know that the Humane Society was having a half-off sale on adult cats.  (I realize I should clarify, they weren’t selling half of a cat, it was half-off the price.  Wait, none of you needed me to explain that?  Oh well, here’s hoping at least one person out there found this terrible joke slightly funny…)  Thinking that it couldn’t hurt to at least look at the shelter’s website, as long as I stuck to my guns about not giving in to my desire for a kitty, I went browsing.  I’ll be honest, there were some pretty cute cats.  However, as I went from page to page, no image really leaped out and grabbed me.  Until I came across the image of a cat that looked exactly like my poor, dead Howie cat (except this cat had amber eyes instead of Howie’s green).

I stared at that picture, and I fell in love.  He was purrrrfect.  I wanted desperately to rush over to the Humane Society and adopt him immediately.  However, I knew the boy might have some issue if I did that.  Instead I waited until he got home, and then I kind of attacked him with all the information I had about the cat.  I’m relatively certain my ramblings went something like this, “He’s just so precious and adorable.  He really needs a home.  He’s four, and he’s been at the shelter for a month.  No one is going to want an older cat that’s already been there that long.  Just look at this picture!”  And that’s when I shoved my phone in his face, forcing him to look at the “perfect” cat.  I ended my sales pitch with, “We REALLY need a cat.”

I believe his response was something along the lines of, “I believe that you believe we really need a cat.”

“So, you’re saying we don’t need a cat?”

“I didn’t say that, I said that I believe that you believe we really need a cat.”

“So, if  I went and adopted him tomorrow, that’d be okay?”

“As you wish.”

I feel I should interject here, that when the boy says, “As you wish,” it’s super romantic and quite swoon-worthy because he’s actually saying, “I love you.”  And if you’re thinking that it sounds like I lifted that straight from Princess Bride, well, there’s a good reason for that.  I love when he says it, and I think he knows it.

Anyway, the next day my mom went with me, and I spent nearly two hours waiting to get to spend some time with the kitty.  Mom and I sat facing the row of windows, right in front of where he was sitting.  He came with the name Ziggy, but there was absolutely nothing about him that screamed Ziggy at me.  Maybe Garfield, but not Ziggy.  I spent the whole two hours being desperately afraid that somebody in line ahead of me would be there for Ziggy, and they’d get him before I could.  However, there were bunches of kittens, and they were definitely garnering more attention and visits than the big, fat, orange cat.

Finally, my number got called.

I found myself sitting in this little room with my mom and a humane society worker.  She asked some basic questions about my lifestyle and home, and then asked me why I wanted to adopt Ziggy.  I realized that I probably shouldn’t say, “He looks exactly like the reincarnation of my dead cat who I miss terribly.”  So, I gave some pat answer about how from what I’d read on Ziggy’s info, it looked like he would be a perfect fit for our home, and that I just wanted to give him at home.  I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I’m sure it sounded trite and formulaic.  I must have satisfied their questions, because they let him in the room to see how he’d do.

He did great.

I adopted him.

Then I texted the boy (who was at work) an adorable picture of Ziggy sticking his nose out through the holes in the carrier side, and captioned it, “Hi, dad!”  Unfortunately, the boy didn’t get the picture and only saw the text, and because he doesn’t equate pet ownership the same as being parents, he immediately thought that I meant a miracle had happened and I was pregnant.  Which led to him calling me with great excitement, and me realizing that maybe I should’ve worded my text message differently.  I had to burst his bubble, and tell him I was just referring to the kitty.  Later on, I had to give him a hard time about the fact that he actually thought that if I found out I was pregnant I would let him know via a text message.  Um…hello…that would be huge, life-altering, amazing news, and there is no way I’d tell him in a text message!  I could be 5000 miles away, and I’d find a way to get home so I could tell him face to face.

Ziggy came to live with us, and by that I mean, he spent the next few weeks primarily living under our bed.  He turned out to be afraid of  everything (side note: he’s only scared of mostly everything now, I see this as progress).  Since I was adamant he wasn’t a Ziggy, we started trying out new names.  For the first two weeks we called him Ajani (a cat character from Magic: The Gathering), but then I found out that Ajani is actually a girl’s name and put my foot down.  I said something about the fact that I didn’t care if he was fixed, I wasn’t giving him a girl’s name.  Which led to me calling him Monk, as in Adrian Monk, Tony Shalhoub’s character from Monk.  I figured that if the cat was scared of everything, it was a good fit.  And then the boy finished building the greatest cat house ever…

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He build a cat sized TARDIS.

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I’m 5’0″ tall, and I can barely see over the top of this thing.  And if building a TARDIS for my cat wasn’t enough, the boy came up with the most perfect name ever.

Doctor Mew.

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The Joy of Old Cars

Published July 13, 2015 by Malia

When you drive a car that’s barely younger than you are, you tend to have years where everything goes wrong with the car.

About a month before the wedding my car’s transmission went out.  I was on my way to work, and suddenly my car decided that was a terrible idea.  Needless to say (but, hey, I’m gonna say it anyway), I didn’t go to work that day.

At the very end of May, the brakes decided they were mostly dead…while I was driving.

I still think it’s a miracle they didn’t go all dead before I got home.

Today, I was driving home and when I got to the light about two blocks from my house, I noticed white smoke coming out from under the hood, and a burning rubber smell.  I got home, and smoke continued to appear for nearly an hour.  Knowing next to nothing about cars (I can fill it with gas, I know how to put oil in, I know some basic car part names, and that pretty much sums up my car expertise), I came to two conclusions.  A. My car had elected a new pope, or else, B. it was going to catch on fire.  According to people who love me, and know way more about cars, neither A nor B are likely to be the problem. It seems it’s something to do with my radiator.

Which is a shame, because I was really looking forward to Cars 3: The New Popemobile.

Adults Pay Their Bills In Their Underwear

Published June 12, 2015 by Malia

Well, I suppose some adults pay them completely naked.  And others pay them in 18 layers.  And, as long as they’re able to pay their bills the world will just keep on spinning.  And if they can’t pay their bills the world will probably keep on spinning anyway.

It’s funny, when I was little, I had this weird idea of what adulthood was.  I knew being adult meant working, and possibly getting married, and having a pile of rugrats constantly attached to various limbs.  I knew it meant being responsible, and if you did screw up you should learn from the experience because otherwise you’d just end up in a vicious cycle of stupidity.  Even though I was aware of all this, I really never comprehended how truly annoying paying bills is.

Can you tell I just got done paying yet another round of bills?  Yay for being a responsible adult.  However, right now, I’m just wishing I was five again, playing on the neighbor’s trampoline, completely responsibility free.

That would be lovely.

So…It’s Been Awhile…

Published June 10, 2015 by Malia

I think this pretty much covers it.

Turns out, thinking about writing blog posts and ACTUALLY writing blog posts are two different things.  Over the last few months, I’ve frequently had ideas and thought, “That’d make a good post,” and then never followed through.  So, it’s time to play catch up…

April

As far as I can remember, the last updating I did took place in April.  Which, while not a long time ago, is well over a month past.  April ended interestingly.

When the boy and I got married, we were on pretty different work shifts.  He would leave for work before 7 a.m. and get home mid-afternoon.  I, on the other hand, would start work at 1:30 p.m., and not get home until well after 10 p.m. (just in time for the boy to head to bed, and me to be wide awake with post work adrenaline).  Going into our marriage, we both knew this was something we were going to have to deal with, and I honestly thought it’d be okay.  Which only goes to show that I’m an idiot.  In truth, it was misery.  It was depressing.  It was lonely.  So, at the end of April, when I saw a perfect job opening at a local hospital.  So, I submitted an application.  And then a week later I got a call from the hospital asking me to come in for an interview.  It was one of those interviews that when I left I honestly couldn’t tell if I was going to get a job offer, but they assured me they were going to call my current job to verify that I really did work there.  Which meant I had to tell my boss that I had gone on an interview.  To cut a very long, boring story short, my boss wasn’t exactly thrilled when I shared this tidbit with her, and I didn’t get offered the job at the hospital.  However, my work offered to let me change schedules, which meant that I didn’t have to start somewhere new, and no more long, lonely mornings home alone.

May & Early June

May will be remembered as the month of medical drama.  About a week after the wedding (back in March), I started having bad abdominal pain.  Because I’m super stubborn, and completely convinced that things will just get better, I put off going to the doctor until May.  Finally, I broke down and decided to go get checked.  The first two weeks of May found me going to the Ob-Gyn and the Endocrinologist.  Neither were fun visits, and neither gave me a decent answer for the abdominal pain.  All that really happened was that I ended up back on Metformin (for diabetes and the PCOS).  My Metformin dose was supposed to start slow, and every week go up.  The first week I had to up the dose, I started getting super sick.  Migraines, pain, dizzyness, nausea, and other fun things plagued me for three solid weeks.  I couldn’t eat, was having trouble sleeping, and was generally miserable.  I spent a decent amount of time playing phone tag with both the Ob-Gyn & Endocrinologist offices.  Both just kept blowing me off and telling me it was just my reaction to the Metformin and to take upping the dose slower.

By the start of the third week, I had the worst sore throat I’ve ever had.  The start of the third week was also my first week on my new shift at work and it was a horrendous week.  Fearing that I might have strep, I ended up at a quick sick clinic.

I didn’t have strep.

No, as of last Thursday, I learned that I have Mono.  Not only do I have mono, but this is actually the second time in my life I’ve had mono.

I wish it felt this cute.

Through it all, the boy truly has been my steady rock.  He has taken such good care of me.  Definitely has made me feel valuable even when I have felt super worthless.  He’s nursing me through this mess, and gone on more chocolate milk pick-up trips than has been fair to him (side note: whole chocolate milk is so thick and creamy it’s the perfect thing to drink if you can’t swallow anything else).

So, in case this has all been TL/DR (too long/didn’t read)…Started a new shift at work, got mono, my husband is amazing, and I am now going to try to update more faithfully.

Learning to knit at 1 a.m.

Published February 20, 2015 by Malia

It’s totally normal to try to learn a new hobby in the wee hours of the morning.  Right?  Especially a hobby that is super frustrating, and uses tools that you can either gouge your eyes out with or hang yourself with.  Absolutely nothing bizarre about any of this.  Nope, nothing.

This is what I do when the world is feeling overwhelming.  I attempt to craft.  Normally, I loom knit with varying levels of success.  (Last year, I did manage to actually finish two blankets.  I’m super proud of that.)  However, I found this blanket pattern that is absolutely perfect, and to make it turn out right I have to learn to actually knit.  No more cheat knitting.

I’ve previously alluded to my ongoing Pinterest addiction, and this pattern is another Pinterest find.  There’s this excellent blog called Lattes and Llamas, and they have the most amazing blanket I’ve ever seen.  The best part?  The entire pattern is free and available.  The lovely ladies who write the blog have also provided, “Learn to Knit” videos.  So far I’ve really got the hang of casting on to the needle, and I’m slowly getting the hang of the knit stitch.  It’s the purl stitch that’s causing me headache.  That, and the fact that I can’t seem to keep my yarn from getting super tight on the needle.  However, I’m determined to make this blanket.  I don’t think I’ve ever found something that more perfectly represents so many of the nerdy things that I love.

The big day is 22 days away at the moment.  I’m slowly moving myself from my parents, to the boy’s.  Fortunately, he only lives across town, so I can do this move a little more relaxed.  It’ll be nice when we’re finally married, and I’m no longer playing the running back and forth across town game.  It was fun a year ago, now it’s just wearing on me (and I’m pretty sure it’s wearing on the boy).

22 days.  This is surreal.  I keep thinking of that moment in Star Trek IV, when the whale scientist ends up on the Klingon Bird of Prey, and Kirk tells her, “Hello, Alice, welcome to Wonderland.”  (Seriously, the older I get, the more I love this movie.)  I constantly have a million thoughts racing through my head, and I’m feeling about every emotion that can be felt.  This is all so new,  but it’s a good new.

And if I can solve the mystery that is knitting, it’ll be a great new!