Thoughts

All posts tagged Thoughts

Good-bye flu. Hello anxiety attack.

Published February 19, 2018 by Malia

(I’ve been having a really bad anxiety attack tonight. The following are all things I’m thinking and feeling.)

The anxiety is bad tonight.

I’m wide awake, but I’m so exhausted.

My heart is pounding.

My chest is tight.

Breathing is taking concentration.

My head is tight and painful.

Why won’t my thoughts stop racing?

I can’t even tell you what’s racing through my mimd, it’s just a jumbled mess.

I feel like I’m shaking, but I’m not.

I’m so nauseous.

I feel like the air is closing in around me.

It’s too hot.

It’s too cold.

My clothes are heavy and it hurts.

I’m very aware of my fingernails.

I’m super thirsty.

There’s too much noise, but the house is quiet.

I can hear the blood rushing past my ears.

Why is it so loud?

Sound hurts.

Light hurts.

I’m scared to turn off the lights.

The anxiety is really bad tonight.

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Clothe thyself, I beseech thee.

Published August 28, 2013 by Malia

Okay, I’ll be honest, I had to Google the spelling of the  word “thyself” because I wasn’t sure if it was considered one word or two, and then I had to look up the phrase, “I beseech thee,” and within seconds I wrote the title to this.  I’m aware I probably completely misused those words, but it’s after midnight, so I lack the ability to care that much.  Also, heads up, I’m about to go on a bit of a rant.

Can I ask an honest question?  Is basic modesty such a bad thing?  I’m not talking about, “Oh hey, I won this award, I won’t shove it in everyone’s face.”  I’m talking about, “Oh hey, this outfit leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination, maybe I should supplement it with a bra or something,” or, “Oh hey, maybe I should think twice before doing this dance that looks like I’m acting out sex positions on national television.”

I’m old school, I admit it.  I don’t think we all need to be running around in nun’s habits, but I do wish there would be a bit of a return to wearing clothing that doesn’t spell out every single bump, wrinkle, bit of flab, and nipple for everyone to see.  Yes, no matter what we female folks wear, guys are going to get ideas; but is it really necessary to add to what they’re already imagining.  Sure, we’re not responsible for the thoughts that pop into their heads, but I think we do have a smidge of responsibility to not add to what’s already in their head.  The sluttier a girl dresses, the more permission she’s giving to a guy to come and have a look.  Guys’ brains are naturally wired to automatically see things that turn them on so that they can go off and perform the act that creates more guys whose brains are wired that way.  It’s part of nature.  If it wasn’t, they would advertise ladies’ underwear the same way Fruit of the Loom advertises guy underwear (this isn’t an original thought, I saw a picture on Pinterest depicting this).  We girls don’t need to see some hot chick in underwear to want to buy it (ok, well maybe some girls do).  No, that advertising is used so that girl’s have a clue about what makes a guy tick.  (And since most of us don’t look like or have a body like Heidi Klum, that advertising does nothing but make us girls feel insecure and inadequate). So yes, guys are responsible for their thoughts and the choices they make as to what they continue to think on, but for those guys who are trying to think pure thoughts about us ladies, let’s not add to their difficulty.

Y’know, it’s completely possible to dress classy, without looking like you should be standing on a street corner selling yourself.  Even if you’re a bit on the hefty side (like me), more and more styles are cropping up that allow us to look lovely without looking skanky (or like we’ve been poured into the outfit).  Plus, if you don’t mind waiting until the end of the season, you can hit pretty fantastic sales on stuff that would otherwise break the bank.

Also, I’ve been thinking.  These girls that get their start doing Disney channel stuff probably are making at least a little money off the programs, and if the program is over, there are probably some royalties involved.  Now, I understand that most of these girls want to move on with their careers and not forever be associated with those “good girl” roles they had.  However, they’re still will to accept the money from the royalties of those “good girl” roles.  Here’s an idea, there should be something in their contract that states that it’s fine if they decide to break free of that “good girl, role model” role; but if they do, all future royalty payments and any money from any merchandise, that continues to be made, will be donated to charities that support young men and women making wise life choices and working to succeed at making something of themselves.  It’s only fair.

Rant over.