Creepy

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Let’s watch Twin Peaks

Published May 2, 2016 by ia84

On my long list of “shows I intend to watch one of these days”, Twin Peaks sits pretty near the top.  It’s been on Netflix forever, but I’ve always avoided it because I am a giant chicken and don’t handle creepy/scary stuff very well.  Today, I finally started the show.  Since I’m relatively clueless about the show, I figured I’d post the notes I took while watching the first episode. Two things I should mention: 1. Going into this, all I really knew was that the story is about a girl who gets murdered and is from a super weird town.  2.  I started taking notes half-way through the episode, so the first part of my notes are really out of order, but are thoughts & questions I had before I started note taking.

Twin Peaks Episode 1, Season 1: Pilot

-Why do I always want to call this show Twin Pines?  Is it because I’ve seen Back to the Future so many times?

-What is the deal with how Laura’s mom is crying?  Like did they hypnotize her so she’ll talk?

-What’s this bobby-soxer girl’s name?  I think I’m gonna call her Peggy Sue.  Seems like a better name than whatever her name actually is.

-When is this supposed to be taking place?  The 50’s?  The 80’s?  I’m confused by the costuming choices.

-GAH!  How far is he gonna stick that pair of tweezers under the girl’s fingernail?

-Oh look, it’s the guy from SG1.  He was more likeable in SG1.

-Is that how a student’s death normally gets announced to the whole school?

-The music.  It’s so bizarrely Hallmark Channel.  Somehow it really does work to make the episode better.

-Why does Ed’s wife have an eyepatch?  Is this important?  I hope it’s important.

-Police receptionist is weird.

-This whole town of +51,000 is basically shutting down.  Is that normal?

-Peggy Sue is not a nice girl.

-Deputy that keeps crying.  Why?  How did he get the job?

-Yup, that’s blood.  Creepy place for a murder.

-Kyle McLaughlin’s constant tape recording.  I hope we meet Diane at some point.  I really want to know what she’s like.

-So, Laura was beloved by everyone.  Was she really that nice?

-Deer head on the table.  Ominious?  Foreshadowing?

-What’s a nice girl doing with a porno mag in a safe deposit box?

-Okay, it’s not a porno mag…It’s a prostitution mag?

-I’m worried for Shelly’s safety.

-Shelly’s husband (?), Leo, is a psycho.

-Dude, everyone in this town is having an affair, aren’t they?

-Ed’s wife and her drapes.

-Kyle McLaughlin is way too obsessed with the trees and bunnies and nature.

-Flickering lights.  Definitely ominous.

-Log Lady.  I’ve heard of her.  She’s a lady with a log.  Is the log important?  Is it her child?

-Mayor Milford looks like he’s about to die.  Seriously.  I want to know how they’re keeping him alive.  Is he a zombie? That’d be kind of cool.  Zombie Mayor.

-Okay, it’s a serial killer they’re after.  Town’s creepy enough, seems appropriate that a serial killer might reside there.

-I have a feeling I should not watch this show after dark, alone.

-Eileen and her husband are Donna’s parents?  Grandparents?

-No, Donna, don’t go outside.  That seems super stupid.  Maybe she killed Laura so she knows she’s safe?

-Harriet seems serial killer-ish too.

-Really, Dr. Hayward?  You’re just going to let it slide that these boys are drinking and driving?

-Yeah, Bobby seems good to drive. (insert eye-roll)

-Dr. Hayward, you are a terrible guardian/parent/guy.

-Okay, I’ve got  zero experience with biker bars, but the Roadhouse doesn’t seem like it’s actually a biker bar.  It seems like it’s filled with people that wish they were bikers, but aren’t.  Aspiring bikers.

– I’m finding the use of the color red very interesting.  I’m sure it’s symbolic.

-Mike is an abusive turd.

-I really hope Harry doesn’t turn out to be a bad guy, cause I’m liking him.

-“Fire Walk With Me”  What does it mean?

-This show isn’t super scary, but it’s definitely creepy.

-Super awkward make-out scene alert.  “I’m sorry.”  “I’m not sorry.”  I’m a bit confused.

-Why do I feel like every single thing in this show is worth noticing?

-These kids really need to be wearing helmets if they’re going to be riding motorcycles.

-Okay, Dr. Hayward is Donna’s dad.  The Haywards are kind of old for having teenagers.

-Lucy sets up the donuts every night.  She completely covers the better part of the table with donut stacks.  Why not just leave them in the box?  Also, won’t they be super dried out and stale in the morning?

-Barking.  Yeah, boys, that’s real mature.  Makes you look really mentally stable.

-Jo and the sheriff are really cute together.  I have a bad feeling about this.

-Okay, Laura’s mom is psychic?  Also, her reactions to things feels very over-the-top.

 

Okay, that’s it for my first trip to Twin Peaks.  Episode 1 definitely held my attention, and I’m quite curious to see what happens.

No Touchy!

Published March 4, 2013 by ia84

Last week I was talking with a friend, and they mentioned an acquaintance who was struggling with something.  My friend kept telling me that this other person had bad stuff in their past, as an explanation for why this person is the way they are.  Of course, this got me to thinking.  Don’t we all have bad stuff in our past?  Sure, my bad stuff may seem like nothing to you and vice versa, but at the end of the day, we all have things that have happened to us that have turned us into the people we are.  When I was growing up, my mom would always tell me that I could either get bitter or better based on things that happened.  Out of everything my mom has taught me, this has probably been the thing that has stuck with me the most.

The thing is, I’m a processor.  Whenever something happens to me, I need time to process the situation.  Now, depending on the event, my processing time may be anywhere from a few hours, to a few days, to several years.  I’ve been processing something that happened years ago, and the conversation with my friend last week, kickstarted my brain back into functioning mode.  I’ve been debating all weekend whether or not to write about this.  I finally came to the conclusion that the things that I have buried in my life are only going to harm me as long as I chose not to face them and keep them buried inside.  There’s freedom in talking about things.  Because I don’t want to get sued, I’m not going to write out all details (like names or dates).  Suffice it to say, what I’m about to talk about happened several years ago, and I have more fingers on my hands than people who know about this.

When I was growing up as a pastor’s kid, every Sunday I almost always found myself standing at the back of the church with my parents after service.  We would greet the congregation as they filed out heading for their cars and their lunches.  Part of this ritual involved having my hand shaken, and getting hugs from nearly everyone who passed through.  I never gave much thought to this practice, it was just what we did.

One Sunday, as people were passing through, one of the guys (he was probably in his late 20’s) gave me this hug, and for the first time in my life I got seriously creeped out by a guy.  I brushed it off, and told myself it was nothing.

Except it wasn’t.

The next few weeks, every Sunday this guy would make a bee-line for me, and give me a hug that was just a bit over the line and intimate.  One week, I tried hiding behind my parents, but not make it obvious I was.  Unfortunately, that didn’t dissuade him.

Finally, after about a month of this, things came to a head.  I came up with a plan to avoid this guy.  As the service ended one Sunday, and we were walking to the back of the sanctuary, I asked my dad if I could have his keys so I could go to his office.  He fished them out, and I quickly made my exit.  My plan was to lock myself in his office and hide until everyone had left.  I had just stuck the key in the door when I heard someone say my name, and by instinct I turned.  There stood the guy.  “I didn’t get my hug.” he said.  He then proceeded to push me into the place where the door met door frame and give me this hug that to this day makes my skin crawl.  Now, other, smarter, more savvy kids would’ve fought and gone running.  I was in such shock I just stood there frozen with a brain that wouldn’t work, at all.  Just then, this guy’s brother-in-law walked in, and I was released.  Creepy guy took off, and I finished unlocking the office door, ran in and shut and locked myself in.

Not long after that creepy guy and his wife stopped being around so much, and I didn’t get any more awful hugs.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering why my parents didn’t do something.  Truthfully, they didn’t know until a few years ago, long after all this happened.  I never said one word about what happened, and mostly blocked it from my memory.  I was certain that I must have been a bad person to have something like that happen.  I was certain it was all my fault.  I no longer believe it was my fault.   I’m not the naive innocent little thing now that I was then.  I now realize that this guy had problems, and I just happened to be someone he set his sights on.

I really thought I had pretty much dealt with this.  Then, this last week, I started thinking about the fact that even though nothing truly “bad” happened (although, I firmly believe if his brother-in-law hadn’t walked in something bad would’ve happened), this quick moment changed a lot in my life.  I really shut down emotionally.  I used to be this person who cared about other people and wanted to help and take care of them.  I was definitely an extrovert.  Following the hug, I slowly became more and more internalized, and now I’m a full-blown introvert.  I struggle to force myself to be around people.  The biggest change, though, is this:

No, I’ve not been turned into a llama.  I do, however, have major issues with being touched.  There are 10 people (this isn’t an exaggeration, I can count them all on my fingers, no toes needed) I know that I am willing to let touch me without wanting to physically push them away and then go and shower.  What I find alarming is the fact that as much as I want a guy in my life, the idea of being touched terrifies me (and let’s face it, physical touch is part of relationships).  I’ve also come to realize that much as I hate how heavy I am, I’ve not mentally been into losing the weight.  Sure, I’ve given it a good go, but my mind has never been connected with the program.  I think I’ve been using my fat as a defense.  While there are guys who don’t mind fat girls, most guys avoid them.  Being avoided because I’m fat means that I’m not going to get touched.

I’m sick of this.  I’m horrified that I’ve let someone else’s issues have such an invasive effect on my life.  He was a slimy sleazo, and yet his actions have had more influence over me than I thought possible.  I refuse to let him win anymore.  I’m tuned in now.  I’m worth more than I’ve chosen to believe, and it’s past time for this weight to come off.

Random Saturday Musings

Published January 6, 2013 by ia84

-A couple of days ago I bought a movie I had never heard of and knew absolutely nothing about.  It’s called The Watcher in the Woods.  Some of the acting was really terrible, but the story itself was quite good, and surprisingly scary and dark for a Disney film.  Bright spots of this film were Bette Davis and David McCallum (NCIS’Ducky).  Davis was super creepy.  There was not nearly enough Ducky in this film, I think he was mainly in the film to attract whatever audience Davis didn’t attract.  Here’s the trailer:

-I spent tonight with my mama figuring out what the spring puppet show is going to be.  I’m pretty excited about this one, and am hoping that it all pulls together smoothly.

-I’m getting really excited and pretty nervous about Monday.  New job!  Big plus: I get to wear cute scrubs!  There’s no mandatory scrub design I have to wear, so I can wear the fun cartoon tops.  Also, I’m madly in love with the Grey’s Anatomy brand scrubs.  They’re the softest, most comfy scrubs I’ve ever encountered.  I’m also glad that they’re making scrub tops that are much more feminine than they used to be.

-Had weekly lunch at Zemogs.  Ended lunch with “I have a job” celebratory sopapillas.  Here’s a picture of the deliciousness!

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-This afternoon, I decided to try to be artistic, here was the outcome:

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-I’m thinking of getting the Bob Ross videos and learning to paint.

-I’m not trying to brag, but I’m super excited thinking about having a real paycheck again and being able to pay my bills again!

-I love my Hello Kitty headphones.  I spent more on them than I normally spend on headphones, but the whole Hello Kitty design totally made it worth it.  They work fantastic, which was super surprising.  Best headphone investment I’ve made in years.

-My hair is finally getting some decent length to it.  I’ll be glad when I can braid it and put it up.

-I need to find a mascara brand that doesn’t make my eyes itch and burn.  Thinking of trying Physician’s Formula (waiting to make some money, just because it’s more expensive than what I usually spend on make-up).  Many people have told me it’s gentle on sensitive eyes.  I don’t wear a lot of make-up, but I’ve found that mascara is kind of crucial if I don’t want my eyes to look terrible.