I Am Not My Size

Published August 7, 2012 by Malia

I am not fat.

My body is fat.

This mortal shell that holds my soul has enough flubber for Robin Williams to make a sequel.  Unfortunately, when I look in a mirror or see a photo of myself I don’t easily see anything beyond the flab.  Due to this, I hide from cameras (or volunteer to take the picture so there’s no actual record of me looking the way I do.)  I’m working to change this, though.

This summer I’ve made a giant effort to work out on a regular, almost daily schedule.  I’ve also taken to wearing some tops that up until this year I never would’ve considered wearing.  Mostly, this was due to the fact that it’s been so beastly hot here in Nebraska, the idea of wearing t-shirts has been overwhelming.  So, some really cute camis were purchased from Torrid, and I’ve even worn them out in public.  More than that, I’ve even taking some pictures of myself in some of them gasp!.   I’d post them, but I’ve not worked myself up to be that brave yet.

I will lose the weight.  It’s just taking time.  I wish it wasn’t so frustrating, but I suppose the frustration is what will make it worth it.

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