Last Friday night I got to do something I’ve never done before. I got to experience hand holding. I’m sure that to most people this may not seem like a very big deal, but to me it was fantastic! There’s something very sweet and special about being 29 and getting to experience this sort of stuff for the first time. What others take for granted, is new and wonderful to me.
It’s definitely been a week of firsts. First time holding hands, and first time having a root canal.
I ended up going to the dentist on Tuesday (after spending most of the night laying in bed with pain radiating up and down the side of my face), and it was determined that root canal was needed. I know I mentioned that financially it wasn’t the best option for me, but I ended up deciding that I was just going to make it work, somehow. I was so terrified going into it. I totally trust my dentist, but I was genuinely scared of having a root canal. I’ve always heard such awful stories, and I didn’t want to experience one of those.
Laying there in the chair, as the dentist worked, I found a spot on the ceiling and stared intently at it. I began repeating Psalm 56:3 (“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.”) and 2 Timothy 1:7 (“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”) over and over. After several minutes, I was sure we were nearing the actual bad part of the root canal, and to my surprise, the hygienist looked at me and said, “He’s all done with the root canal.” That’s right, I wasn’t even aware that what I was terrified of had actually been completed. Yay for Bible verses, awesome dentists, and excellent numbing!
I think I’m going to have to go to the dentist this week. I’ve been putting this off for two and a half years. I really, REALLY don’t want to go. However, I’m at the point that I realize the giant cavity is winning.
I have a wonderful dentist. He really is pretty fantastic. He’s always been incredibly gentle and kind, and definitely keeps the scariness to a minimum. He even avoids making me feel even worse for being the worst possible patient on the planet. I’m really lousy at dental hygiene, mostly due to forgetfulness (I’m not intentionally bad, I honestly forget). Plus, whenever I get really stressed, the stress seems to attack my teeth before anything else. It’s a bad combination.
The thing is, I know that this cavity is going to require me to either have a root canal or have the tooth pulled. I don’t want to have the tooth pulled, but root canals are pretty much the most expensive thing on the planet. Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but for me at the present it’s just not financially realistic to have one. Which means I’ll have to have the thing pulled. Which is why I’ve been living with the pain of a bad tooth for nearly 3 years.
It’s true, I may be a pain weenie, but when it comes down to it, I’m super stubborn. Stubborn to the point of stupidity. I had to take dental courses in vet tech school. I know what an abscessed tooth is, and why it’s a bad thing. I know that after 2.5 years, this tooth probably should have abscessed by now. Which means I’ve had a grace period, but with the pain level I’m currently at, I think that grace period is reaching its conclusion.
I just dread the thought of having another tooth pulled.