Is that what they’re calling it these days?

Published June 6, 2014 by Malia

I took the day off today, and spent the day at the Henry Doorly Zoo with the boy.  (Side note, Omaha has a fantastic zoo, and if you ever come here it’s the one place you definitely have to go to before you leave). Now, over the many years I’ve visited the zoo, I’ve heard a myriad of weird things come out of the mouths of adults.  We’re talking about statements that leave me feeling somewhere between the Picard facepalm and Professor Farnsworth saying, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”   Today was no exception.

At the zoo, there’s a desert dome, and the lower level features something called, “Kingdoms of the Night.” (KoN from here on out)  Basically, it’s fairly dark, and filled with nocturnal animals.  You get to see animals active that normally would be asleep during the day.  The first “quality” statement of the day, came early on through our trek in the dark.  We were passing a group of adults, and I heard one woman say, “Oh look.  The mommy frog is giving the baby frog a piggy-back ride.”  I turned my head to look at the frogs, and then had to quickly walk away before I said something I’d regret.  Honestly, I kind of wish I had a time machine to go back and walk up to that woman and say, “First, baby frogs are tadpoles.  That’s not a tadpole on top of that other frog.  Second, that “piggy-back ride” is what the rest of the world calls mating.”  I think she might have had a child with her, but honestly I was so horrified when I realized what she said, I didn’t get a good look to see if she really did have a kid with her.  However, if she did, that’s even more concerning.  Why?  Because if you’re not prepared to talk to your child about the birds and the bees, then you better not point out that it is taking place and then pump your child full of misinformation.

Later on, still in KoN, I came around a corner and heard another adult saying, “Look, the beaver had babies.”  Now, this wouldn’t have been a problem, except for two things.  A.  There were no beavers in the enclosure, and B. There was a lit sign stating, “Nutria” followed with information about the Nutria was positioned all of three feet away from the nursing mother Nutria.

Finally, as we neared the exit, we began to encounter multiple women with strollers that had somehow managed to get turned around and were going against the flow of traffic.  Now, if you just follow the flow of traffic, it’s a pretty simple path to get to the exit (that is lit up with a nice brilliant green light filling in the letters, spelling out the word ‘EXIT’).  Instead these women were going the wrong way, and wondering aloud, “Where’s the exit?”  I did manage to try to point out to one of these women which way they needed to go, and instead of turning around, she just kept going the wrong way.

There was one other alarming thing I discovered during my venture to the zoo, and this had nothing to do with other visitors.  It was due to the new sculptures in the Bear area.  Words cannot describe how creepy these sculptures are, so hopefully my pictures can do what words can’t…

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Okay, so maybe that doesn’t look that creepy, but wait…

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Still not convinced of the creepiness?

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That’s right, these weird pig bear things are sprinkled all through that little area, and they’re all staring at you. Standing guard and staring right into your soul.  It’s seriously time to call Sam and Dean.

So, yes, there were really dumb things said today, and there was the encounter with the bizarre sculptures, but apart from that it was a really lovely day.  The weather was gorgeous, and I got to spend the day with the boy (who actually did say something about the “piggy-back ride” comment, but I don’t think the woman who made the comment heard him).  It was really nice to have a normal day (or at least what I consider normal).

UPDATE!!!!  Apparently I took another picture of the creepy bear pigs.  Can’t not share this weirdness with all of you…

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