I’ve really been debating whether to write about what’s going on. Since I’ve found writing this blog to be therapeutic, I’m going to go ahead and lay it all out there.
This has been quite a difficult semester. First there was the diagnosis of fun diseases (and by fun I mean super duper crappy type of fun), and then I got to start taking medicine. I went from being a girl who only took anything stronger than ibuprofen when she had dental work done, to be the girl who has to keep track of whether she’s taken her pills everyday. On top of this the meds and the stress completely threw my sleep out of joint. Added to this, there was a bout of depression that hit me, and I found myself in counseling. All in all, it’s been a lot to handle.
The final straw came the day I headed home for Thanksgiving break. I had a seriously unpleasant meeting with the financial aid department that pretty much sealed the decision that for now the best option for me is to go back home to Omaha.
I was handling this nightmare semi-sanely while I was home over break, but when I got back to campus on Sunday night it really hit me hard. I had no plans to be leaving school and moving back home this soon. I have been crying a lot, and I’m super stressed and super overwhelmed. I feel like I’m back two and a half years ago. I’ve started job hunting again, and I feel like my world is just falling apart.
I’m sure it sounds stupid, but I’ve always been the good girl. Always tried to do the right thing, and no matter how hard or little I try, everything I do falls apart. I always fall for the wrong guy. I just feel like such a screwed up mess.
I know, I’m quite the drama queen.