How is it a thing that people want to eat laundry pods? I use Gain laundry pods. They smell great, and are kinda fun to touch, but never once have I looked at one and thought, “It’s so squishy and colorful…I have got to put this in my mouth, damn the consequences!”

Y’know what else is colorful and squishy? Jello. And guess what…Jello probably won’t kill you. (Although if you try one of those weird Jello mold recipes from the fifties that were filled with things that should never be in Jello, you might die.)

I have a feeling that if you’re tempted to eat a laundry pod, you never had to lick a bar of soap as a punishment as a child. Because, if you had, you would look at the pod and feel no desire to put it anywhere in the vicinity of your mouth. You’d look at it and think, “This is soap. What kind of moron willingly wants to eat soap?”

And yes, you are a moron if you think that laundry soap is the last word in haute cuisine.

So don’t eat laundry pods.