Let me start this by saying that I’m not looking to get into any sort of religious or theological debate. The point of this blog is to share what’s going on in my life, random thoughts I’m having, and things I’m entertained by. I am a Christian, and so this post is about that.
These last few weeks since my Grampa died have been kind of hard. Half of me has been questioning whether or not I’m really doing the right thing going back to ND to school. 500 miles is an expensive bit of a trip, and I can’t get home very quickly in case of family emergency. The other half has been feeling that I finally see clearly what it is I’m supposed to do with my life. The last three weeks I’ve been feeling really discouraged, and even kind of terrified of what this school year is going to entail. I’m finally, FINALLY committing to a major, and for the first time I’m really starting to obsess over how I’m going to succeed. I’ve not felt this way in ten years, it’s kind of refreshing. Something else I’ve been discouraged about is the price of gas. While it’s not in the $4/gallon range yet, it’s steadily creeping that direction. I’ve been saving most of this summer, but I’ve really been feeling consumed with worry about whether or not I was going to have enough saved to have a cushion in case gas prices suddenly shoots up even higher. I’ve had a specific amount I’ve had in my head, but I wasn’t really praying about it. I realized late last week that while I’ll probably have almost enough, I’ll really be on the line of having enough, and there’s no way I’m going to be able to make enough to achieve what I’d like to have. (I should note here, that I wasn’t able to actually get a legit summer job, so I’ve been doing some online data work that pays pennies, and while I did have one pet sitting job, the one I do every summer never materialized. So, it’s been a challenge.) Even though I’ve been fraught with worry, I’ve not mentioned it to anyone. I’m not good at asking for help, or admitting that I may need it. Especially, when I know how tough times are for everyone.
This morning, at the end of church service, there was a time of prayer for all the students and teachers heading back to school. I was stubborn, and didn’t go up. To my surprise, one of the ladies came over and prayed for me. When prayer time was over, she told me that for the last three weeks I’d really been on her mind, that she sensed I was really discouraged, and she’d been praying for that to lift, and for me to be encouraged. Then, she handed me a check and told me it was a little bit to help me out. Later, after church, I looked at the check, and about fell over. It was exactly, to the cent, what I’ve been needing. It really was a gift. I feel so blessed, and less terrified and discouraged.
So, here’s to committing and succeeding. I’m going back to ND.